POSTED // Apr 30,2008 - No need to dress up today,” Lisa said when I got in her car. She honked her horn to pick me up for lunch. I always knock on her door when I pick her up. She always honks her horn. Sometimes, she calls my cell phone and says, “I’m outside.”...

POSTED // Apr 23,2008 - Philip, Philip, you’re quite a dip,  How does your garden grow?With cigarette butts and cats in rut Otherwise, I don’t know. Last summer, I weeded my garden of flowers and meticulously grew weeds. Thanks to Miracle Grow and weeds that...

POSTED // Apr 16,2008 - There is a bank in my house. It is shaped like a green M&M that has a Cheshire cat grin and beady red eyes. Slowly, penny-by-penny to nickels and quarters, it’s getting filled with money. I guess that’s the idea behind a bank. You put...

POSTED // Apr 9,2008 - I just read that the best way to lose weight is by eating breakfast. Usually my breakfast consists of a cup of coffee followed by the rest of the pot. After finding out I could lose weight by actually eating more, I decided it was time to stock my fridge...

POSTED // Apr 2,2008 - I walk a lot. I can’t tell you why. Just suffice it to say I’m walking six to eight hours a day. If I told you why, then I could get fired. That’s what the understanding was when I signed on to walk all day. Don’t write about...

POSTED // Mar 19,2008 - It was 9:35 p.m., and a couple came up to the ticket window at the Broadway Centre Cinemas asking about the 9:30 movie. She was giggling because she had just realized that typing “666” into her cell phone spelled “mom.” LOL. It...

POSTED // Mar 12,2008 - I saw you sitting in the corner at Alchemy Coffee (390 E. 1700 South) reading “I Saw You” in the City Weekly. I don’t know what you were thinking. Maybe you were hoping to be seen? Well, it worked. I saw you. Did you see me? I’ll...

POSTED // Mar 5,2008 - "I want pink hair,” my grandma Munner said as we sat down for lunch at the Tin Angel. She said this like pink hair was one of the menu options, and this is what she wanted for an appetizer. It seemed like she was ordering, because this was...

POSTED // Feb 27,2008 - Everyone at the City Weekly knows I’m unemployed. This writing gig I do once a week is currently my only job. Some of you might think being a freelance writer puts me one step closer to fame, fortune and possibly even sleeping with Paris Hilton....

POSTED // Feb 20,2008 - It all started when I was 9. My family wasn’t poor, but we also weren’t rich. I didn’t go to school barefoot, but I wish had. My parents couldn’t afford Nike, Adidas or Pumas, so they bought me shoes that looked similar to these...