citylog
The E-
Edition:
CW
page
by page

Tumblr.jpg Google_Plus.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Home » Articles »   By Brandon Burt
 

Theater

Theater: Les Miserables

PTC production is a Utah crowd-pleaser

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 7,2013 - There was a time, not long ago, when you couldn’t look through local theater listings without finding at least two or three simultaneous productions of Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

5 Spot

Facebook provocateur Doug Gibson

Standard-Examiner opinion editor loves a good argument

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 11,2013 - Doug Gibson is the opinion editor at the Standard-Examiner, an Ogden-based daily newspaper. Born in Long Beach, Calif., Gibson earned a journalism degree at Brigham Young University and has worked at newspapers in Ely, Nev., and Boston. Gibson writes The Political Surf blog, as well as a blog covering boxing and MMA. He also edits Currents, a weekly online publication dealing with LDS themes.

Other A&E

Elias "Lefty" Caress

Sideshow performer has carnival flair

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 18,2013 - An encounter with Elias “Lefty” Caress leaves an indelible impression. Not so much a performer as a force of nature, the 33-year-old Caress possesses an incandescent, yet unassuming, affability

Food & Drink

Pop Art Gourmet Popcorn

Addicting foodie-friendly snacking

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 25,2012 - The first one was free, they said. But all it took was one mouthful of Pop Art popcorn and I was hooked.

Food & Drink

La Frontera

New location now open at the U

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 11,2012 - For more than three decades, La Frontera has been serving up its down-home, moderately priced Mexican cooking to hungry Utahns.

Theater

Theater Review: Saturday's Voyeur

Rollicking cabaret show for "the rest of us"

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 10,2012 - For as long as Utah’s cultural divide—that seemingly unbridgeable chasm that separates faithful Latter-day Saints from the Rest of Us—continues to exist, there will be Saturday’s Voyeur.

Theater

In the Next Room (or, the vibrator play)

"Hysteria" gets an electrifying treatment

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 8,2012 - The Gilded Age: The Civil War was over and Thomas Edison was ushering in a new age of innovation and electrification ...

5 Spot

Unite Against the War on Women

Sara Librandi: Make your voice heard

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 24,2012 - Sara Librandi burst onto the Utah political scene as organizer of the local Unite Against the War on Women protest, part of a 50-state event. Protesters will gather April 28, from noon to 2 p.m., at the south stairs of the Utah Capitol

Theater

Course 86b in the Catalogue

SLAC does science funny

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 17,2012 - Don’t be fooled by the deceptively dry title of Salt Lake Acting Company’s latest production. Yes, it may sound like an academic snoozefest. But it’s actually a rollicking comic farce.

Theater

Pygmalion Productions: Seven

Gut-wrenching and inspiring

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 28,2012 - For years, I’ve been arguing that director Lane Richins’ proper place is in the heart of Salt Lake City’s theater district.

5 Spot

Doris Miller: Penis Padlocks

Price-based chastity biz is booming

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 16,2011 - Carbon County natives Doris and Frank Miller run a booming business manufacturing the CB-6000 line of male-chastity devices.

Theater

(a man enters)

A deeply personal look at family

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 8,2011 - Elaine Jarvik and Kate Jarvik Birch describe their new play as “our own personal fantasy.” So perhaps it’s best if we treat the play as entirely fictional

Theater

Last Lists of My Mad Mother

An Alzheimer's tragicomedy

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 8,2011 - It’s considered a tragedy for parents to outlive their children. But is that any comfort for a care-giving child on the verge of outliving her parents?

Food & Drink

Southeast Market

Asian groceries at great prices

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 1,2011 - Thai curry is one of the world’s perfect foods—sweet and spicy, redolent of a rich cultural history in its mood-altering exotic pungency.

Theater

Review: Waiting for Godot

The bewildering theater classic done fresh

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 20,2011 - For nearly six decades, Waiting for Godot has remained something of a theatrical Rorschach test for audiences. Samuel Beckett’s absurdist humor and loopy dialogue suggests the play is allegorica

5 Spot

Rabble-rouser Helen Radkey

Keeping tabs on proxy LDS baptisms

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 20,2011 - Ex-Mormon Australia native Helen Radkey is a spiritual consultant and educator, soul reader, past-life therapist, prayer therapist, marriage celebrant, writer and researcher but is best known as that rabble-rouser who’s been keeping close tabs on the LDS Church’s temple ordinances for the past 18 years.

Theater

Review: Pygmalion Theatre Company's The Good Body

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 5,2011 - Face it: The human body is disgusting. Its incessant demand for nutrition forces us daily to engage in such gross activities as chewing and digestion ...

5 Spot

Wes Sadler, co-publisher of Chiaroscuro

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 13,2011 - Since November 2002, Wes Sadler and co-author Doomlazer have created three dozen issues of cut-and-paste, blatantly intellectual punk fiction...

Theater

I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change

Love, Theatrical Style: Familial relations and romance anchor three new productions.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 2,2011 - In its fifth season, Pinnacle Acting Company has genuinely hit its stride.

5 Spot

Seth Bracken, Editor of QSaltLake

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 28,2011 - What is the role of gay media in society? "We serve as a community forum..."

Theater

The Glass Menagerie at The Grand Theatre

Three plays explore community, class and close relationships.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 24,2011 - Tennessee Williams is one of the most produced yet least understood of American playwrights.

Theater

White Christmas

New theater productions offer comedy, cookies and Christmas cheer.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 8,2010 - The enduring charm of the 1954 movie White Christmas lies in the performances of its headliners: Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye...

Theater

Around the World in 80 Days

New theater productions offer comedy, cookies and Christmas cheer.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 8,2010 - Around the World in 80 Days is not just another Jules Verne adaptation.

5 Spot

Joseph Puente

The independent candidate challenges Rep. Jason Chaffetz.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 5,2010 - Joe Puente is an independent candidate running for Utah’s 3rd Congressional District ...

Books

David Archuleta

David Archuleta may be young, but his memoir still inspires.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 31,2010 - There was a time when the writing of memoirs was solely the bailiwick of old people ...

Theater

The Turn of the Screw

Page to Stage: It works as literature, but The Turn of the Screw blossoms in local theater

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 30,2009 - The mysterious and unknown fascinates us most...

Rant Control

Tone Deaf

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 9,2009 - Nick Christenson, according to his Sept. 3 letter "Not So Sweet Music," is indignant that he and other "real" music fans have to put up with "intoxicated buffoonery"...

Rant Control

Truth to Teabaggers

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 2,2009 - Last week brought mail by the sackful to Rant Control Laboratories, as dozens of disgruntled wingnuts chimed in on their bugaboo du jour: heath-care reform.

Rant Control

Thermite Makes Right

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 26,2009 - City Weekly's Aug. 20 cover story "We All Fall Down," about professor Steven Jones, whose theories about 9/11 got him ...

Rant Control

Coming Out of the Newspaper Rack

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 19,2009 - City Weekly received this e-mail message from Fat Chance: “Hey, gay-wad ‘news’ paper, do you think you could stop being so gay?...

Rant Control

For Whom the Bell Tolls

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 5,2009 - Monday’s post on Brandon’s Big Gay Blog (CityWeekly.net) regarding news that Sept. 21 has been set for the date of the D.J. Bell trial attracted a fair number of comments...

Rant Control

A Utah Tradition

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 29,2009 - City Weekly’s July 2 “Liquor & Liberty” issue elicited a response from Robert Grant [“Act Like Adults, Boozers,” Letters, July 16]...

Rant Control

Derekgate

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 15,2009 - Widespread interest in the Main Street Plaza controversy (or "Derekgate," as it has come to be known at Rant Control Laboratories) attracted a flurry of comments this past week. In "Kiss Off," a July 17 online story...

The Ocho

Postcards from Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 8,2009 - Guten tag from Vienna! I might stay longer, but I´m sure you won´t have any trouble putting the new cop shop on Library Square.

Rant Control

Making the Heart Grow Fonder

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 8,2009 - As Black Mamba said, "Most will go for the ol' rub 'n' tug any day over abstinence.

Rant Control

Real Stories, Real People

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 1,2009 - Michael Susaeta’s delightfully unhinged July 25 letter “Tell a Real Story for Real People” excoriated City Weekly for running ads featuring goods and services out of the financial reach of some folks.

Rant Control

Chatting With Chaffetz?

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 24,2009 - Perhaps Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, does respond to comments on his Facebook profile as Katharine Biele wrote in "The Conservative Agenda" June 18. But commenter Joe Puente isn't convinced...

Rant Control

Author! Author!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 17,2009 - In fact, Rant Control would be downright suspicious if I weren't enjoying the book so much. The big tip-off with amateur publicity hounds is that they can't avoid coming off like movie-poster blurbs ...

Rant Control

Into the Wood

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 10,2009 - It´s official: CityWeekly.net commenters are passionate about wood. There is no middle ground: Some love wood; some hate it.

Rant Control

No Bigots Here

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 3,2009 - Last week, Aaron Heineman's letter "Warts Betrayals" expressed his disappointment that Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. would abandon Utah for the greener pastures of Beijing, leaving us at the tender mercies of...

Rant Control

Pros & Connors

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 27,2009 - MattS had this to say: "For anyone that reads the critic's review, and maybe feels that a lousy two-star rating makes this movie not worth seeing, let me tell you that this might be the best movie of the year."

Rant Control

Sheriff Taylor Wouldn’t Do That

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 20,2009 - City Weekly’s May 7 “Courting Favor,” about a months-long police crackdown on Murray’s Huka Bar which netted only two alleged violations, caused some CityWeekly.net commenters to wonder if law-enforcement authorities have been somewhat overzealous:

Rant Control

Bustin’ a Cap in Your Trade

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 13,2009 - Oh, that Rep. Jason Chaffetz! When he's not fretting over Washington, D.C.'s decision to "redefine" marriage, he's thinking up ways to redefine other words ...

Rant Control

What’s in a Nickname

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 6,2009 - In response to City Weekly’s April 30 cover story “Gone Baby Gone,” online commenter disgusted1 wrote: “I can't believe you would report such patently one-sided garbage ..."

Rant Control

Smackdown: Pedestrians vs. Skaters

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 29,2009 - An April 22 letter "Cite Offenders or Else" from the ever-ascerbic Douglas Cotant ("I am damned sick and tired of skateboarders going past me on the sidewalk," he wrote) generated an equal measure of disdain and sympathy...

Rant Control

Bread and Balance

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 22,2009 - Be that as it may, commenter Mala replied that the pita comment was "distinguishing between the old Bosnian women and the Americanized Bosnian women such as Aida and most of her peers. Of course, many Greek, Turkish and Arabic women can stretch the dough."

Rant Control

An Oz-some Show

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 15,2009 - On the other hand, most musical theater audiences couldn't care less about philosophy--they just show up to see the singy, dancy people and tap their toes to the music ...

Rant Control

Pastrami Burgers Are Sacrosanct

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 8,2009 - The love you take is equal to the love you make--so it's no wonder that, after City Weekly's annual orgy of sharing and caring (i.e. the Best of Utah issue) went online, the comments board has become a veritable lovefest ...

Rant Control

Take It, Ble-otch!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 1,2009 - Rant Control is surprised that the March 26 wire story “The Bleach & the Bees” about organic products generated as much message-board contention as it did. Reader “chameleon&

Rant Control

SROs, Zombies and Humanity

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 25,2009 - Ted McDonough’s March 19 story about the plight of Salt Lake City’s single-room occupancy hotels “Gimme Shelter” prompted “BarryPortugal” to speak his mind about what he thinks makes Salt Lake City suck so thoroughly ...

Rant Control

Navigation Nation

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 18,2009 - This comment came from user BlackMamba: "You have a much larger challenge on your hands in attempting to draw attention to your online comments sections: Finding the damn things!" ...

Rant Control

Those Tolerant Types

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 11,2009 - Ooh, ouch! Looks like City Weekly’s March 5 feature “Two-Faced Utah” hit a nerve—online commenters “peacemeal” and “espalda” are now convinced that our staff writers’ black hearts burn with white-hot hatred of the LDS Church ...

Rant Control

Wrestling … With Your Mind!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 4,2009 - Last week’s Five Spot featured Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, known for cot-sleeping and leg-wrestling. How did CityWeekly.net denizens respond?

Rant Control

Totally [Sic]

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 26,2009 - Here at Rant Control Laboratories, our expertswearing white labcoats and little elseare working night and day to make the world a better place at least the part of the world that comprises the CityWeekly.net comment board.

Rant Control

The Good Guv

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 19,2009 - Last weeks announcement by Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. that he supports civil unions for gay and lesbian couples raised both eyebrows (of surprised Utah gays) and hackles (of creepy save the children homophobes). The community needs to heal around this issue, Huntsman said.

Rant Control

Rocky Rolled

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 13,2009 - There was always one thing that bugged Andersons detractors above all others though: His popularity in Salt Lake City. As Sarah pointed out, Rocky went out of office with a 70 percent approval rating. Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you trolls aren´t from around here? Probably a bunch of sheep humpers from Delta.

Rant Control

Sunshine and Lollipops

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 9,2009 - Maybe it was the sound scolding Rant Control administered last weekor, more likely, the spate of unseasonably glorious weather we had around Groundhog Daybut recently, the comments on CityWeekly.net have been more constructive and less rude than usual.

News & Columns

Rant Control | Sunshine and Lollipops

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 3,2009 - Maybe it was the sound scolding Rant Control administered last week—or, more likely, the spate of unseasonably glorious weather we had around Groundhog Day—but recently, the comments on CityWeekly.net have been more constructive and less rude than usual. nKatharine Biele’s cover story about the impact of a planned Rocky Mountain Power substation on a University neighborhood (&ldq...

News & Columns

Rant Control | All About the O

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 28,2009 - Things have been looking a little brighter ever since the Big O moved into the White House. According to Newsweek, the “o-conomy” may be looking up. There’s a new sense of openness and people are overjoyed that the country’s finally getting back on track. nSo when is this spirit of optimism going to hit the CityWeekly.net comment boards? Online commenters are more oversensi...

News & Columns

Rant Control | Chafed About Chaffetz

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 21,2009 - Ted McDonough’s Hits & Misses column Jan. 15 made mention of the TV antics of Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, and Chaffetz’ sponsorship of a bill to prevent reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine—but neglected to lavish the freshman Congressman with unbridled praise, drawing much ire from members of Chaffetz’s personality cult. But it was a reader named “Typical Libe...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Someone’s in the Kitchen With DNA

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 14,2009 - nIt seems like National Amber Alert Day comes earlier every year. nThis year, however, it’s really something special. The Department of Public Safety and the American Football Coaches Association have presents for K-12 students in every county in Utah: identity kits. nUnfortunately, an “identity kit” is not as much fun as, say, the Identikits used by law enforcement agencies to ...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Milk Dud

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 7,2009 - nThe Provo Daily Herald supports the idea of breast-feeding. A baby’s got to eat, after all. The Herald just doesn’t want to see feeding time on social-networking sites. nA Jan. 2 editorial and Web poll shows broad support for Facebook’s decision to remove a bucolic photo of Provo mom Heather Farley breast-feeding her child in a flower garden. Farley and a group of “lactivi...

News & Columns

Feature | Spoiler Alert: City Weekly's amateur psychic divines the future of the Henrickson family on HBO’s Big Love.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 31,2008 - I’m not really a television psychic—but I was gratified this past October when my analysis of Don Draper’s card reading from episode 212 of AMC’s Mad Men (“The Mountain King”) received mention on Websites of such notable Tarot experts as Corrine Kenner and Mary K. Greer.nDespite the fact that my predictions turned out to be—well, absolutely wrong, I decide...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | One Fast Iguana

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 31,2008 - nAs a big-time enmolada fan, I was alarmed by news that a driver veered off west North Temple, smashed through a wall of the Red Iguana and into one of the restaurant’s dining areas on Monday, Dec. 29. Thoughts of a weeks- or months-long closure for repairs made me develop a sudden craving for delicious mole negro. nNot to worry: Two hours after the crash, the resourceful folks there had pat...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | You Pagan, You

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 24,2008 - nJust in case you were wondering whose side you were on in the War on Christmas, I offer this simple test: Did you decorate a tree this year? Hang mistletoe? Place a wreath at your door? nThen you’re part of “the problem”—the problem, that is, as defined by hotheads like Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, and creepy, falafel-loving Fox News guy Bill O’Reilly. This pro...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | It’s an Outrage!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 10,2008 - nA Dec. 9 Doug Robinson piece in the Deseret News tells the story of how a group of teenagers, working together, were able to create change in their Utah County community. nThe group got the Utah County Board of Health to ban smoking from all county parks, starting next month. nIt’s an inspiring story of community activism—that is, if you’re not a smoker. And the teens came up w...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | The Hole Story

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 3,2008 - nThe recession has slowed down Utah’s construction boom, but at least our destruction boom is still going strong. Why should the demolition sector suffer simply because there’s no money to replace the buildings we knock down? Holes have become one of Salt Lake City’s greatest natural resources. nThe Sugar House hole lay dormant beneath a retail district for decades before its dis...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Fat Kids? Blame the Gays

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 26,2008 - nAsk homophobes why gays and lesbians should not have equal rights, and they are likely to give you any number of reasons, including: n• Gays are a threat to traditional marriage. n• Gays already have equal rights, and are only seeking special treatment. n• Gays represent society’s moral decline. n• Same-sex marriages don’t produce children. (Shh! Don’t tell t...

Lake Effect

Herriman Uber Alles

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 24,2008 - Ellen Lindsey, the Fort Herriman Middle School health teacher who was placed on leave for allegedly revealing non-government-approved facts about sex during a sex-ed lecture, is a new hero.

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Take a Powder

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 19,2008 - nWhen a quantity of a white, powdery substance was mailed to the LDS Salt Lake Temple last week, some LDS Church members surmised, with characteristic paranoia, that it was the work of “gay terrorists” in retaliation for the church’s role in funding a campaign that eliminated the rights of California gays and lesbians to marry. nTurns out the substance is harmless, according to ...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Better Than a Boycott

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 12,2008 - nPlans to punish the LDS Church for its hardcore, inhuman support of California’s Proposition 8 through a tourism boycott of Utah are likely to backfire (see Private Eye). Still, that church has to be slapped somehow. Problem is, how do you boycott a church? n nThere’s one very good way, if you’re one of the many individuals who have “fallen away,” as they say: R...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | We Swing Both Ways

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 5,2008 - nIf you’ve ever had the experience of reading a blog and not being able to figure out whether its author is a babe or a dude—and if you find that kind of information valuable—you’ll love GenderAnalyzer.com. When you enter the URL of your favorite blog, the analyzer uses its highly sophisticated, space-age atomic whiz-bang algorithm to determine the sex of a blog’s aut...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Grave Matters

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 29,2008 - In today’s pre-fab world of factory-made costumes and punch-’n’-go jack-o’-lantern templates, it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Halloween. nTo the ancient Celts, of course, Samhain was a very special time—it was the time when the entire village would judge you based on the amount of thought and creativity you put into your costume and Halloween decorations...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | 3 br., 2 bth., 12 fcst. nbrs.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 22,2008 - nAre you in the market for a house? Then has Betty Perry’s bank got a deal for you! nPerry, the elderly Orem woman who infamously was thrown in jail last year for neglecting to water her lawn, apparently hasn’t had better luck this year. According to a Salt Lake Tribune story, her house has been foreclosed upon, and she has left the state. nThe charming home has three bedrooms, two ba...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | The Spectrum and the Rainbow

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 1,2008 - The St. George Spectrum & Daily News events listings for Sept. 27 included an environmental expo, a book festival, an electronics-recycling program and a chili cook-off. (They also included the strangely foreign-sounding introductory statement “So....

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Beers, Yes; Queers, No

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 24,2008 - September has been an exciting month for those who breathlessly anticipate LDS Church statements. Such statements regularly emanate from 50 E. North Temple, but two of them have garnered considerable attention this month.nOne, optimistically interpreted...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Don’t Be an Ash

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 17,2008 - The cremation controversy is back in the news—surprisingly, though, this time it’s not raging in the Provo Daily Herald. A Jennifer Toomer-Cook story in the D-News’ Sept. 13 religion section reported that, while cremation has become...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | A Hadron for Destruction

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 10,2008 - If you are reading this, the Earth has survived its gravest threat to date: the first “full proton beam injection” Sept. 10 at the Large Hadron Collider on the French/Swiss border. According to some people—those scientists again—the...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Weather or Not

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 3,2008 - Nutjob political agitator group Focus on the Family Action (which is the arm of Focus on the Family devoted to nutjobs on the go) removed a video from its Website calling for members to pray for “rain of biblical proportions” during Sen....

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Tokenism

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 27,2008 - TRAX ticket-vending machines are moody. With a smooth technique and a bit of finesse, you can often induce one to accept dollar bills in exchange for a $2 one-way adult fare. If the machine doesn’t like your looks, however, it rejects your currency...

Back to School

Back to School 2008 | Ramen on Empty: Invite the world to your pathetic student table with these gourmet ramen recipes.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 13,2008 - For thousands of penurious students, the staff of life isn’t bread or even rice, but ramen noodles. And no wonder! Stacked neatly on a bookshelf, those miraculous little carb bricks take up next to no space in a cramped dorm. Ramen is also easy...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Waterboarding Wednesdays

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 6,2008 - In today’s business world, there are so many techniques management can use to improve productivity and morale. The old “work or get fired” ethic is still in effect, but profit-sharing programs and casual Fridays are old hat. (Personally,...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Oh, That Bob Springmeyer

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 30,2008 - According to Bob Springmeyer’s Facebook profile, he is 65, married, likes bobsledding and canoeing, seems photogenic in a likeable and jovial way and has been fortunate enough to visit Japan. Springmeyer also has more than 900 Facebook friends,...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Pioneer Day Safety Tips

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 23,2008 - According to the Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification, crime in Utah is on the rise. However, Salt Lake City residents take heart: Crime rates here fell slightly between 2006 and 2007. Still, the substantial increase in Utah County crime has us worried:...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | When Johns Fly

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 16,2008 - Habitués of City Weekly’s glamorous rooftop smoking lounge have a front-row seat for the many attractive sights and sounds provided courtesy of the 222 S. Main high-rise construction site. Monday’s program was the best yet: a Port-a-John...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Jazz for Jesus

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 9,2008 - The arrival of the hot-weather white-shoe season has tipster Eric looking forward to Salt Lake City’s summer entertainment lineup—particularly the Salt Lake City Jazz Festival, July 11-13 (SLCJazzFestival.org). The festival turned out to...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | MoPAC

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 25,2008 - In keeping with its longstanding stated tradition of not telling its members how to vote, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sent out a statement urging its members to support a proposed marriage-ban amendment in California. Titled “Preserving...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Herriman Über Alles

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 18,2008 - Ellen Lindsey, the Fort Herriman Middle School health teacher who was placed on leave for allegedly revealing non-government-approved facts about sex during a sex-ed lecture, is a new hero. The resulting furor, during which purse-lipped and/or hysterical...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Attention, Nice People

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2008 - As part of a cunning plan to turn the tables on park zombies, who normally scare people away from Pioneer Park, Salt Lake City is encouraging nice things to happen there, in hopes the zombies will themselves be scared away. Noticing that the area brightens...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Apocalypse Postponed

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 4,2008 - Salt Lake City’s “mutual commitment” registry (which is what we’ve agreed to call it because homophobic idiots are people, too, and they’re very sensitive and it makes them cry when they hear the phrase “domestic partnership”)...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Provo Pride

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 21,2008 - The California Supreme Court’s decision to strike down an anti-marriage law that discriminated against gays and lesbians sent ripples throughout the homophobic community—particularly in Utah, the origin of lots of those tax-free dollars spent...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Not So Simile

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // May 7,2008 - Some LDS apologists are up in arms regarding a New York Times Web article implying that FLDS polygamists are like those regular, old 19th-century Mormon polygamists. This is what is known as a simile. And, of course, comments from the frequently outraged...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | It’s for the Children

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 30,2008 - The latest plan to Protect The Children comes from the Safe Kids Utah Coalition, which sent out an April 25 advisory announcing the kick-off of its “Boost Till 8” campaign to raise awareness of a new law that requires kids to use car booster...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | “Together Forever”

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 23,2008 - So enamored of John McCain is Sen. Orrin Hatch, he recently surprised McCain’s presidential campaign with the gift of its very own theme song—a song Hatch himself composed. (Upon which we can only imagine McCain’s nonplussed staffers...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Swimming Poo(l) Update

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 16,2008 - With warm weather just around the corner, the Utah Department of Health is doing all it can to prevent a repeat of last year’s pool-borne cryptosporidiosis outbreak. The department’s April 15 press release announcing proposed changes to pool...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Be Prepared

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Apr 9,2008 - The Federal Emergency Management Agency, reporting from its new top-secret, super-scary Lair of Doom, aka the Department of Homeland Security, has determined that an earthquake of sufficient magnitude in Salt Lake City would kill people. Not only that,...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | What About “Flippin’?”

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 19,2008 - The Provo Daily Herald’s online polls (HeraldExtra.com) are a reliable entertainment source, since they can be counted on to react to every random hysteria that pops up. The most recent poll is about foul language—specifically, can anything...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Gypsies, Tramps, Thieves

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 12,2008 - Seems columnist/BullShattuck.com blogger Ryan Shattuck ruffled quite a few feathers over a remark he made in a column last week [“My 15 minutes of fame on Google?” March 3, Daily Utah Chronicle]. Sometimes you never know what’s going...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Lawn Order

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Mar 5,2008 - This sign, posted on the fence surrounding Bryant Middle School, offers good advice to passersby, especially considering the fact that warm weather is just around the corner. Soon it will be prime time for rolling around and doing somersaults and lounging...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Lynch Mob

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 20,2008 - We’ve been basking in that rich, Buttars-y goodness wafting down from Capitol Hill ever since Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, assured us he’s “intensely committed to maintaining the fundamental moral values of the country.”...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | The Hoosegow Floss

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Feb 13,2008 - We recently received a funny and well-written letter to the editor about dental hygiene in prisons from City Weekly reader John “Weston” Osburn, currently a guest of the state in Bluffdale. The man suffers from dental neglect and I couldn’t...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | So Gay!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 30,2008 - According to a Jan. 23 Seattle Post-Intelligencer item, Olympia, Wash., is home to the second-largest gay caucus in the United States. Washington’s Legislature contains six openly gay members, putting it ahead of such gay-friendly states as California,...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Kilomitt: Letterman’s Night of 1,000 Romneys

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 23,2008 - Willard “Mitt” Romney was 24 when Willard, a movie about an eponymous rat-lovin’ misfit, was playing on the big screen. Even if the movie had nothing to do with it, you can’t blame Romney for going by something other than his...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Under a Spell?

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 16,2008 - If you’re a Utah native or a transplant whose spent any amount of time here, you know that the rest of the world has its preconceptions about us—mostly wrong ones—and it can be difficult to set the world straight. We want the world...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Postum Mortem

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 9,2008 - Now that Kraft Foods has discontinued Postum, the sinister Mr. Coffee Nerves lurks ever closer. The demise of the wheat-based caffeine-free coffee substitute may come as a disappointment, but it can hardly come as a surprise. Sure, we all have a jar...

Lake Effect

Lake Effect | Prediction Friction: God Loveth His (Gay) Children?

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jan 2,2008 - According to City Weekly reporter Ted McDonough (Read Article), I psychically predicted 12 months ago the publication of a 2007 LDS Church pamphlet some say heralds a kinder approach toward gay and lesbian Mormons. Now, as much as I’d enjoy being...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | It Means “Really Creepy”

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 26,2007 - Tourists looking to sample a little Salt Lake City nightlife may come away with the sense that there are few music venues here, since the Salt Lake City Downtown Alliance’s recently published “Do Downtown” guide neglects to list hotspots...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Ho x 3: The Santa Pub Crawl is on!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 12,2007 - A shout-out to plucky tipster Derek Meik for sending this info directly to me. Thanks, Derek: Santa Pub Crawl is on! Last week we received a letter wondering what happened to Salt Lake City’s crawl, noting that the only one publicized was in Park...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | A Row to Ho

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 5,2007 - A reader named Christy recently wrote in to ask: “Will there be a Santa Pub Crawl in Salt Lake City this year?” We had no idea what that group of crazy drunks was planning, so we asked Derek Meik, a frequent hot tipper who always seems to...

News & Columns

5 Spot | Gypsy Moon Emporium co-owner Rauni

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Dec 5,2007 - Gypsy Moon Emporium, 1011 E. 900 South, holds its holiday open house Saturday, Dec. 9, noon-5 p.m.; a visitation by Celtic Santa is expected until 3 p.m. We asked emporium co-owner Rauni, who appears to have some means of communication with the Big Guy,...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | War Stories

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 28,2007 - Utah AM-radio talkers, long besieged by the forces of secularism, were shocked to discover that Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. has joined the enemy camp and declared war on Christmas. “Can you see it?” demanded local AM-radio babbler Rash Hannitard,...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | The Christmas War

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 21,2007 - Secular humanists hate Christmas a lot; If you celebrate Christmas, you’re sure to get shot. Don’t hang decorations and don’t deck the halls. The secular humanists will cut off your balls! The atheists hate Baby Jesus; the gays Refuse...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Tots on ’Dots

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Nov 14,2007 - Playtime was subdued, quiet time was unusually quiet and punch-and-cookie time conversation at nursery schools across the valley was focused on just one thing: News that a Utah toddler had been hospitalized after an overdose of Aqua Dots. The sticky...

News & Columns

Lake Effect | On a Roll

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 24,2007 - Utah is brimming with corporate goodwill this week now that Procter & Gamble has agreed to help eliminate some problems Box Elder County has with unsightly foliage and wildlife. For $85 million of corporate welfare, the asswipe giant agreed to obscure...

News & Columns

The Way It Is | Tracy Johnson

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 24,2007 - We asked equipment technician Tracy Johnson: Why is Halloween still so popular despite efforts to stamp it out?

News & Columns

Lake Effect | Down the Hatch: Orrin wants to get Larry Craig off.

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 17,2007 - The case of disgraced Republican Sen. Larry “Not Gay” Craig (whose efforts to avoid political annihilation were thwarted by a Minnesota judge who thought Craig’s petition to change his plea from guilty to innocent might have been just...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Lohan Behold

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 10,2007 - The stars are out again in Utah—or at least Lindsay Lohan is. America’s Darling warmed Utah hearts by choosing our state, out of all 50, to serve her DUI rehab over the summer. (Ordinary mortals get a year in jail and have to stay where they’re...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: It’s in the Water, Part 3

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 3,2007 - Nutritionists have long extolled the virtues of Omega-3 fatty acids found in fish oil. One recent study even suggests that a diet high in fish may help combat depression. And wasabi combats the intestinal parasites that are ready to invade your intestines...

News & Columns

The Way It Is: “Grampa” Clown

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Oct 3,2007 - After performing as a mime for three years at Sea World in San Diego, Alan Ware—aka “Grampa” Clown—went on to study the art under mime legend Marcel Marceau. Ware graduated from Clown College in 1996 and has performed with the...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Swimming Poo(l)

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 26,2007 - Even though the Utah Department of Health modified its swimming restrictions this week for children less than 5 years old, it’s still against the rules to dip diaper-clad babies into swimming pools. This came as a harsh blow to bad parents who,...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Calendar Boys

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 19,2007 - Apparently, there’s a golden window of time in the life of an LDS man after he’s been a gawky, pimple-faced missionary with a Mr. Mac suit, but before he’s become a Republican business ’droid with six Mr. Mac suits. The folks...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Tappy Feet

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Sep 5,2007 - Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, isn’t gay, never has been. He said so himself. Obviously, what was really happening in that airport stall was a little-known Republican ritual, using hand and foot signals to communicate political strategies. Before...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Love, Main Street Style

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 29,2007 - Speculation is rampant over the Aug. 24 destruction of glass windows at the Salt Lake City mayoral candidate Keith Christensen’s campaign office on Main Street between 200 and 300 South. Was it a politically motivated attack? The Deseret Morning...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: A Darker Shade of Pink

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 22,2007 - When Utah’s “right to work” law was enacted in those black-and-white, clean-cut 1950s, it was intended to bring about a glorious era of worker independence and an end to the Red Menace. Well, the nefarious socialists still haven’t...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Grazie, Glatze

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 22,2007 - In all his whimsical posturing, Michael Glatze has managed to confound benighted homophobes throughout the Christian right. Glatze claims he was a gay-rights “leader” because he once edited some obscure magazine targeting queer youth. But...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Chop, Mince, Dial

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 20,2007 - Tom Dickson has achieved YouTube.com celebrity as the man who can—and will—cheerfully purée just about anything. As owner/CEO of Orem-based Blendtec, the affable Dickson promotes his company’s line of high-powered blenders in...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: A Hot Tip!

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 15,2007 - Sent by an anonymous reader on his Blackberry: “Just read your column on celebs behaving badly [‘Celeb Fever,’ Aug. 9]. You could have included Dina Lohan getting kicked off a Delta flight to Utah. “I happened to see it happen....

News & Columns

Lake Effect

Celeb Fever

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 8,2007 - One of the good things about living our Life Elevated has been Utah’s traditional dearth of celebrities behaving badly. Sure, once in awhile Paul Lynde would get arrested for assaulting police at a Salt Lake City gay bar or Roseanne Barr would...

News & Columns

Lake Effect: Scary Gary

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Aug 6,2007 - It’s always good to see our friends in Happy Valley achieve notoriety, proving that Utah County’s reputation for blandness is ill-deserved. We’re also glad to see Santaquin has become a destination for Hollywood’s hottest playas....

News & Columns

Cuckoo for Kokopelli

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 11,2007 - In recent decades, the mischievous, flute-playing trickster has become something of a pop icon. His image has been silk-screened on more T-shirts than Jim Morrison’s; gift shops throughout the Southwest sell coffee mugs, coasters and bumper stickers...

News & Columns

It’s in the Water

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jul 6,2007 - Corpse dredging is back! Among the most recently recovered stiffs are the waterlogged bodies of three Wyoming men drowned in Flaming Gorge on New Year’s Eve over 11 years ago. According to The Associated Press, human divers brought them up'and...

News & Columns

Verboten

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 29,2007 - We were surprised to discover the following notice posted on the Salt Lake City government’s Website: "We cannot answer inquiries about missing persons, genealogy, or non-City employment opportunities.

News & Columns

Trash Detail

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 22,2007 - June 21 may mark the official start of summer, but people have already been jumping the gun on all those fun-in-the-sun summer activities like going topless or having backyard barbecues. Any good neighbor will overlook a harmless topless barbecue, particularly...

News & Columns

Party Game

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 18,2007 - Utah partygoers'particularly goers going to the kind of party where people laugh and have fun, as opposed to a party where people just stand around looking cool'are excited about a recent discovery that has potential as a party game.nnTo get it started,...

News & Columns

The Ocho

Eight possible ad slogans for the morning-after pill Plan B should the Food and Drug Administration make it available for over-the-counter sales

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - 8. “The un-abortion.”nn7. “Because right-to-lifers can’t picket your medicine cabinet.”nn6. “In case of alleged attack by the Duke lacrosse team, take two.”nn5. “Ask your pharmacist ... then wait for a sermon.”nn4....

News & Columns

So You’re Thinking of Becoming a Cheat

Sure, you’re only cheating yourself, and you’ll most likely get caught … but what happens if you get away with it?

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Life’s so unfair. If you had the brains the gods gave a turnip, you could sail through four, six, or even eight years of college without firing as much as a neuron ...

News & Columns

Anhedonic Anodyne

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - There are lots of reasons to be depressed; in fact, if we put our minds to it, we can find justifications for being down in the dumps all year long. Right now, of course, the best excuse is post-holiday depression'Christmas and New Year’s are finally...

News & Columns

Season’s Bleatings

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - As a liberal pagan it’s my job to take all the fun out of Christian holidays. Whenever somebody makes the mistake of wishing me a merry Christmas, I start screaming and don’t stop until the insensitive greeting is rephrased. I carefully monitor...

News & Columns

Club Dread

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Last week marked the first meeting of the Provo High School Gay-Straight Alliance, a student club intended to foster tolerance of gay and lesbian students. These days, such clubs exist in high schools across the country. The surprising bit is that this...

News & Columns

What Geeks Do

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - The trouble is, humans are fallible. As much as we hate to admit it, we make mistakes'sometimes with major consequences. Computers are designed to help us accomplish our tasks with less effort, so it’s not surprising that they also help us make...

News & Columns

Benefits of Bigotry

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Last week, in an effort to ensure Salt Lake County’s gay and lesbian employees can’t get a fair shake, the County Council voted down a proposal to grant them the same benefits enjoyed by their heterosexual counterparts. The benefits being...

News & Columns

Campaign of Hate

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - Nobody tests the limits of free expression more than idiots. “Idiots,” of course, are not ordinary, garden-variety fools. Throughout history, fools have been so plentiful and omnipresent they’ve managed to get their ideas on the table,...

News & Columns

Dangerous Behavior

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - If its May, it must be sweeps month. Local TV stations vie for market dominance by producing the kind of news that appeals to our basest lusts four times each year. July is perfect for patriotic tributes to Utahs war casualties; November brings Jell-O...

News & Columns

Monkey Business

By Brandon Burt
POSTED // Jun 11,2007 - template_image Like all forms of bigotry, antisimianism is a learned trait, as evidenced by the fact it appears exclusively in adults. At age 12, most of us formulate elaborate five-year plans for acquiring pet chimps–plans involving paper routes,...
« Prev 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16
 
Close
Close
Close