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Home » Articles »   By D.P. Sorensen
 

Deep End

An Idiot Abroad

Mit tears it up in London for Olympics

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Aug 15,2012 - These days, it’s hard for me and my old missionary companion, Willard “Mit” Romney, to spend some good quality time together.

Deep End

Cluck You!

Chickens protest Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay statements.

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Aug 8,2012 - Almost overlooked at the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day last week was a small but vocal contingent of chickens.

Deep End

Blame Teddy Bears

The problem with massacres

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Aug 1,2012 - It is a disturbing sight to see: row upon row, stack upon stack, pile upon pile of cuddly teddy bears looking very despondent despite the bobbing multicolored balloons tethered to their furry little paws.

Deep End

George of the Bungle

Was Dubya really prez for eight years?

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jul 25,2012 - You see George W. Bush on TV now, and you wonder: Was this guy really president of the United States for eight years?

Deep End

Wild Thing

The word "Romney" = "weasel"

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jul 18,2012 - All of a sudden, the sleek little creature with short legs and shifty eyes was sitting next to my chair, nudging my leg with its shiny and surprisingly sharp snout.

Deep End

Smoking Gun

Shooters didn't start (most) of the fires

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jul 11,2012 - Two things happened recently that are certain to revolutionize human thought forever. The second event occurred right here in Utah and is destined to transform the entire realm of ethical discourse.

Deep End

Boom! Pow!

We love our cool (dangerous) 'splosions

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jul 3,2012 - Ignore the slight inaccuracy as to the exact date of our magical night of lights and paradise. I think WebFireworks.com has it just about right.

Deep End

Labor of Love

Mia Love not ready for GOP con

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jun 27,2012 - Please, please, Mia, please stay home. Don’t go to Tampa and speak at the Republican convention in August.

Deep End

Babe in the Woods

Mit reveals his forest upbringing

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jun 20,2012 - I’ve kept my close friend Mit Romney’s biggest secret for a very long time, but now that he’s come clean about his unusual boyhood, I feel free to provide some details about the many years he spent alone in the woods.

Deep End

Workin' It

Carl Wimmer's job skills in hot demand

By D.P. Sorensen
POSTED // Jun 13,2012 - Job offers from all over the world are pouring in for Carl Wimmer, according to his agent, Richard Burwash.
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