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Private Eye

Top 1 of 2009: Karl Rove

Dear Turd Blossom: I can't come up with a Top 10 anything.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Dec 30,2009 - The top story of 2009, and perhaps in the history of man, is that Karl Rove is getting divorced from his second wife.

Private Eye

Happy Holly (Mullen) Days

City Weekly's supposed to be critical of politicians, and we will be.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - Last week, Holly Mullen announced to her Facebook friends that she is considering a run for the Salt Lake County Council.

Private Eye

Drunk Man Walking

Mayor Becker knows as much about getting a cab in this town as a donkey knows about needlepoint.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Dec 16,2009 - Many years ago, when I did time as a bartender, a friend of mine would come into the bar I worked at and get supremely crosseyed...

Private Eye

A Beer for Max Hall

BYU's quarterback is some kind of magical brewski magnet.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Dec 9,2009 - I hope you’re all through with the Max Hall debacle. I sure am. It’s high time we forget how much he hates everything about the University of Utah and why.

Private Eye

Utah Won, Max Hall Loses

By John Saltas
POSTED // Dec 2,2009 - An hour after the Utah/BYU football game on Nov. 28, BYU quarterback Max Hall made his now-famous remarks about how much he hated “everything” about the University of Utah ...

Private Eye

Happy Apocalypse, President Palin

Just as the Mayans predicted, the death comet of 2012 remains on course.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Nov 18,2009 - The closest I ever came to the Mayan civilization was when I visited the Tulum ruins near Cancun and, later, when I ate some chocolate mole at the Red Iguana.

Private Eye

Jim Matheson: No Scott, Not By a Long Shot

We pay for your health insurance, Jim. Pay it back.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Nov 11,2009 - Soon after Scott M. Matheson was sworn in as Utah's governor in 1977, I opened my unemployment check and discovered I'd gotten a $5-per-week raise ...

Private Eye

My Greek DNA Beats Yours

Dear U of U: You don't have to be born in Greece to be a Greek.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Nov 4,2009 - A couple of years ago, I and other family members traced our DNA through FamilyTree.com.

Private Eye

War Is Hell. So Is Inaction

Without knowing what the end game is in Afghanistan, why do it?

By John Saltas
POSTED // Oct 28,2009 - I don't know firsthand if war really sucks or not, as I'm nonmilitary. But from what I'm told by my friends...

Private Eye

Dallin Oaks, Foot in Mouth

LDS apostles’ birthright: Alienating and angering anyone who isn’t LDS.

By John Saltas
POSTED // Oct 21,2009 - When I was in Greece this summer, I bought Pat Bagley a set of Greek worry beads...
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