The Helio Sequence

It's Personal: The Helio Sequence can’t quit us.

POSTED // Feb 17,2010 - The Helio Sequence like us. They really like us. The tour for their most recent album, Keep Your Eyes Ahead , wrapped two months back, and they’ve been holed up writing and recording ...

Nick Oliveri

Oliveri Twist: Nick Oliveri goes acoustic—his way.

POSTED // Feb 10,2010 - Basically, the chorus is ‘Fuck you, you can’t make me [unintelligible]! Fuck this [unintelligible] outta you!’” Nick Oliveri laughs heartily after the extemporaneous performance.

Just Say No to Christmas

The guide to not celebrating Christmas

POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - Hedonists are about pleasure, whether from sex, gambling, beer, good films or possessions. Soak up a few gallons of whatever floats your boat.

Christmas with the Devil

POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - City Weekly had a hard time tracking down a local Satanist, so we contacted a local black metal musician on MySpace. Then it occurred to us that MySpace is so 2007; everyone’s on Facebook now.

What Would Buddha Do?

The Guide to not celebrating Christmas.

POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - Do you hear what I hear? Carolers moaning on the lawn like zombies, demanding figgy pudding and your unmitigated recognition of their holiday?

Diff'rent Strokes, Good Will to All Folks

Unapologetically Un-Christian

POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - According to ReligiousTolerance.org and Adherents.com, Christianity, with a 33 percent slice of the population pie, is the largest religion in the world...

Now That's What I Call Xmas Music (Redux, Remastered with Bonus Tracks)!

Want more sick and/or sardonic holiday tunes to pipe into your earbuds? Dig our expanded Alternative Xmas Music playlist.

POSTED // Dec 23,2009 - Can’t get enough alternative Xmas music?

The Holidays, Your Way

Do you eschew the trad along with the non-trad? Concoct your ultimate alternative holiday—or rent one of ours.

Jerry Joseph

New York Groove: Former Salt Lake City/Portland singer-songwriter Jerry Joseph finds a new home in Harlem.

POSTED // Dec 9,2009 - Jerry Joseph’s story — addiction, applause, anonymity — is familiar to most Salt Lakers...

Puscifer & Neil Hamburger

Tool frontguy Maynard James Keenan and Neil Hamburger: High comedy.

POSTED // Nov 18,2009 - “Where is my voice showing up?” My voice. That’s artsy-fartsy, misunderstood Maynard James Keenan asking where the interview will appear. How pretentious is that?