Beingst I was at The Smith’s after leaving The BYU to pick up a mold for my green Jell-O—store boughton Jell-O is the best—I saw your ad for Utah’s Next Big Drag Superstar. I sure do ‘preciate you guys writin’ a newspaper that Utahns can understand. Here we are drinkin’ melk, surrounded by gorgeous mountens, and I read that you’re “interested” in the gays to dress up like ladies for a big gay drag show. Fabulous!
People say to me, “Doug, you could be a Drag Superstar. Wouldn’t that be special?” I say to them, “I’m from Utah County, kids.” I may see things differ’ntly than my Happy Valley brethren, but gosh darn it, if my mom saw me dressed like a lady, she’d fall face down in her own funeral potatoes.
Good luck with your gay show, but regretfully, I’m just not interested.