8. Burger King Satisfries—diet french fries, people!
7. Cliff Huxtable; hang in there, Fat Albert.
6. MSNBC ... oh, still on? Prove it.
5. Several planes to the Airline-Eating Dragon.
4. Burt's Tiki Lounge (October)
3. The smell of Burt's Tiki Lounge (TBD)
2. The sanctity of the list—damn you, Buzzfeed!
1. The iPod Classic, and I'll sell you mine for a mere $900. Includes the entire Kenny Loggins catalogue!