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News Blog

Tea Bagger Straining

by Gavin Sheehan
- Posted // 2010-03-30 - When I was a kid I remember my grandmother on my mom’s side having a phrase for all the tea you’d find at the overpriced grocery store. She called it… Shit Stew. Why? Because to her it looked, smelled and tasted exactly as such. She’d say how proper tea was made at home with a strainer, and anything wrapped in flashy packaging lacked substance and left a horrible aftertaste. …How fitting that memory would come to mind today as the Tea Party Express rolls through our state.

Now while I understand how some are going to be pretty damn quick to bash me and this post for all its worth, bare with me for a second. I completely understand why they’d come here. This state gave George W. Bush his highest approval numbers at his lowest point. If you’re gonna find political support for the GOP in the middle of a liberal era, this is literally the breeding ground for it. Especially since we haven’t voted Democrat for a president since LBJ was in office (which was done out of sympathy for Kennedy) and before that for FDR. But while I can understand the idea of the conservative environment here, especially from living here my whole life and seeing how everything plays out, what I can’t understand is the blind loyalty to this particular movement. Support and vote either way you want, its your call. You put money into the parties that reside in your area, you’re voting for local politicians who represent your area and local interests that affect your daily lives for years to come. …But why then support a cause that doesn’t affect you?

The Tea Party Express rides town-to-town shilling conservative views on a national scale, demanding your money and support for causes that by definition, barely affect Utah and its well being. Bringing people in such as Palin and Romney and Hannity, people who don’t live here or give a damn about your problems or our state’s problems, who are just here to preach hatred for the other side, slamming the media in every form who dare arrive to cover it (which includes KSL), and make a quick buck off those who attend. Bucks that could go into local causes and candidates that actually impact us as opposed to what will happen in November in major battleground states. If you want to support conservative ideals then nothing I say will sway you, but at the very least you could put that to better use both city and statewide as opposed to a bus tour. They’re not here to support your causes or help your candidate or even bring about change. They’re here to milk you and our state for all its worth in cash and publicity for a cause that in the longrun, will have no influence on us as a whole. I’m sure plenty of arguments could be made otherwise by finding the smallest of changes, but in reality, any anthill can turn into a mountain if you pile enough dirt on it.

So a small favor to ask of anyone planning on attending this movement’s rally today.  Before you grab your signage and McCain/Palin buttons and hat/sunglasses combo so people can’t recognize you, please ask yourself one question... Is it really worth your time and money to support something that doesn’t support you?

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REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // March 30,2010 at 14:24

When you stop at Wal-Mart to pick up your giant jar of Slim Jims, American flag ballcap and magic markers for your high-quality signage for the Tea Klux Klan rally, be sure to pick up a little, soft-bound dictionary to use for your signs so you don't look like total inarticulate, racist, illiterate assholes.

I mean, how goddam hard is it to spell elementary school-level words like,"School, moron, amnesty, competence, certificate, borrow, official, impeach, stimulus, student and informed?"

Pretty hard to spell with a magic marker when the wind's blowing all that dust into your eyes while you balance a cream-filled Ho-Ho in one hand, a Mountain Dew spiked with Vodka in the other and you just remembered that you forgot to deposit your Socialist Security check before you left from Idaho Falls.

Those are actual Tea Klux Klan signs.

Gives white people all over the world a bad name and I'm not like you.

 

 
 
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