I Can't Believe There's No Buttars

by Brandon Burt

Posted // 2011-03-15 -

The gays will be celebrating the retirement of hated homophobe Sen. Chris Buttars this Friday -- and what better way to commemorate the butt-end of Buttars' bitter reign than with butterscotch-schnapps-based beverages?

According to a Facebook event page created by Dennis Rowley^[1], the "(Fuck) Buttars Retirement Party" will take place at the Trapp, 102 S. 600 West, starting at 8:30 p.m., featuring a slew of drink specials incorporating DeKuyper© Buttershots liqueur:

$1 Buttershots shots
$2 butterfuckers (Buttershots, vodka)
$3 cocksuckers^[2] (Buttershots, Irish cream)
$4 duckturds^[3] (Buttershots, Irish cream, vodka)
$4 jolly homos (Buttershots, Captain Morgan spiced rum)

Also, there are dollar-drafts on offer. Seems a perfect time to enjoy drink specials while we may, since, come July 1, they'll be illegal^[4] thanks to Sen. John Valentine's anti-booze bill. Believe me, we gays know how to party! Sounds like a fun time to me.

Footnotes:

[1] To clarify, that's "Leather Dennis," not the other Dennis.

[2] Our heterosexual friends may recognize this delicious shot by the nom de boisson "copper camel."

[3] Basically a "butterfucker" plus a "cocksucker," but WTF? Why "duckturds"?

[4] That AP story was written by former City Weekly managing editor Josh Loftin.

Brandon's Big Gay Blog