The Bachelorette (ABC) Season Premiere: Says here that new Bachelorette Emily Maynard is a “fan favorite,” and who am I to argue with carefully cultivated PR copy? And look, there’s even a Utah himbo in the mix—hope he can live up to Bentley Williams’ legacy of last season. Bring on the man ‘hos!
America’s Got Talent (NBC) Season Premiere: No, it doesn’t—must we suffer through another freak-show season to prove this? Oh, and sellout weasel Howard Stern joins the “judges.” Bring on the mental cases!
Kurt Sutter’s Outlaw Empires (Discovery) Series Debut: Kurt Sutter (of Twitter, and some cult TV drama called Sons of Anarchy) looks at gangs and crime families through his uniquely skewed docu-lens to uncover an America you’ll wish you never knew about (or will want to sign up with, depending upon your antihero leanings). Bring on the Crips!
Season Finales tonight: How I Met Your Mother, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-O (CBS); Smash (NBC); Bones (Fox); Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie (The CW)—see True TV.
Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars (ABC); Secret Life of the American Teenager, Make It or Break It (ABC Family); Bethanny Ever After, The Wedding Party (Bravo); Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel); Top Gear (BBC America); Ridiculousness, Money From Strangers (MTV); The Pitch (AMC); Eureka, Lost Girl (Syfy)