What’s new tonight:
2 Broke Girls (CBS) Caroline and Max scramble to find Chestnut (you know, the horse in the yard) a job so he’ll have somewhere warm to stay—did winter just hit New York? And how are they going to work a vagina joke into this? Meanwhile, Peach (you know, the uptown trophy mom Max babysits for) auditions for The Real Housewives of TriBeCa. Somehow, this is a Christmas episode … vagina.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (ABC) It's the 1965 holiday staple, now in HD! Because if there’s anything that needs high-def treatment, it’s a crudely-drawn cartoon that also looked terrible 46 years ago. Oh yeah, I ruined Christmas.
The Mortified Sessions (Sundance) Series Debut: From the stage and the page, it’s The Shoebox Sessions remade for basic cable, with host David Nadelberg digging up the past of celebrities for maximum discomfort and enlightenment. In the premiere, those celebs are Ed Helms (The Office) and Mo’Nique (Precious, the entire '90s UPN schedule).
Also new tonight:
You Deserve It, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-O (CBS); The Sing-Off, Rock Center With Brian Williams (NBC); American Country Awards (Fox); Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie (The CW); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); Ridiculousness (MTV); The Closer, Rizzoli & Isles (TNT); Neverland (Syfy); Scouted (E!); Enlightened (HBO)
Lucy and Ethyl, er, Laverne and Shirley, uh, Max and Caroline have horse problems on 2 Broke Girls tonight: