What’s new tonight:
Bored to Death (HBO) Jonathan (Jason Schwartzman) goes on The Dick Cavett Show (!) to promote his book. No, Dick Cavett isn’t dead—you’re thinking of Merv Griffin. You weren’t thinking of Merv Griffin? Huh. Anyway, Jonathan’s arch-nemesis shows up and ruins this retro-joyous moment, as arch-nemeses tend to do. Also, Ray (Zack Galifianakis) somehow sets off an AMBER alert, and Ted Danson is waaay funnier here than he is on CSI. Just sayin.’
Hoarders (A&E) Season Premiere: Two more mentally unstable crap collectors with questionable back-stories are profiled: Kevin, the son of some allegedly famous people, and Mary, who’s obsessed with Victorian houses. Both have too much stuff, and their families aren’t putting up with it anymore. Yeah, it’s a whole new twist this season!
Monster In-Laws (A&E) Series Debut: In-laws don’t get along, so a basic-cable network and a “no-nonsense, unconventional-relationship expert” are here to solve centuries of bullshit. But these Monster In-Laws are particularly horrible, horrible bastard people who can only be cured on national television. You know, just like A&E cured hoarding.
Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars, Castle (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-O (CBS); The Sing-Off (NBC); Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie (The CW); Pawn Stars (History); The Bad Girls Club, Bachelorette Party: Las Vegas (Oxygen); The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo); Ridiculousness, Death Valley, Cuff’d (MTV), Scare Tactics, Urban Legends (Syfy); Enlightened (HBO)
Bored to Death preview twofer: Cavett prep and dormant male nipples …