What’s new tonight:
American Horror Story (FX) After a splashy premiere episode two weeks ago and a letdown of a follow-up last Wednesday, American Horror Story gets back on freaky track tonight—not that it makes a hell of a lot more sense, of course. Thanks to a “murder house” bus tour (gotta love L.A.), we learn a little bit more on the backstory of the Victorian and why no one besides Ben (Dylan McDermott) is dumb enough to buy it. Speaking of brainless Ben, his abortion-skipping ex-girlfriend drops in for a surprise visit, as does his new half-faced “buddy.” Spoiler: It doesn’t go well for one of them.
Up All Night (NBC) It’s a flashback episode about the birth of baby Amy (the show’s weakest link—do we really need this kid around?) and Chris’ (Will Arnett) decision to become a stay-at-home dad. Me, I’d prefer a flashback ep that explains his extensive collection of Panama Jack shirts—maybe for Sweeps, huh?
Happy Endings (NBC) On the real Funniest Wednesday Comedy (sorry, Modern Family), Jane forces the gang to make “vision boards” so they can all “achieve their dreams.” If I have to spell out the many, many opportunities for hilarity here, you’re probably the kind of person who has a “vision board.” Move along.
Also new tonight:
The Middle, Suburgatory, Modern Family, Revenge (ABC); Survivor: South Pacific, Criminal Minds, CSI (CBS); Harry’s Law, Law & Order: SVU (NBC); America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Ghost Hunters, Paranormal Witness (Syfy); The Ultimate Fighter, Blue Mountain State (Spike); Luther (BBC America); South Park, Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (Comedy Central); Top Chef: Just Desserts, Work of Art (Bravo); (TLC); The Real World (MTV); Penn & Teller Tell a Lie (Discovery); Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family), Psych (USA)
Just another pleasant, uneventful episode of American Horror Story …