Torchwood: Miracle Day (Starz, tonight) Season Finale: Might be series finale, at least in ‘Merica, for Cap’n Jack and Gwen—viewership in miniscule, even by Starz standards. Maybe they were put off by having to actually think, or it could have been all of the naked, heaving, sweaty man-lovin’. Either way, Team T-wood makes one last desperate attempt to take down the mysterious Three Families and get the people of Earth back to just dying, already. If Jack happens upon some dudes to fuck, so be it, USA.
Friends With Benefits (NBC, tonight) Series Finale: Speaking of miniscule viewership … how the hell is this still even on? The completely unrelated movie with Justin Timberlake and Meg Griffin was much better, despite JT’s character, a hotshot web designer, declaring his proud use of Times New Roman. Seriously?
Also new tonight:
Karaoke Battle USA (ABC); Haven (Syfy); ThunderCats (Cartoon Network); Whisker Wars (IFC); Sugar High (Food Network); Strike Back (Cinemax); The Soup (E!)
Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday) After a stellar return episode two weeks ago with “Let’s Kill Hitler,” Doctor Who turned in a rare turd last Saturday—evil toy dolls in an armoire? Doc, puh-lease. Tonight, sounds like we’re back on track: Amy is trapped in an alien hospital! Even worse, they have a socialized health-care system …
Also new Saturday:
Cops (Fox); Jabberwock (Syfy); iCarly (Nickelodeon); Bad Dog! (Animal Planet); I Faked My Own Death (Discovery); Outnumbered (BBC America)
True Blood (HBO, Sunday) Season Finale: The utterly ridiculous fourth season of the already-ridiculous True Blood comes to a spectacularly ridiculous conclusion—on Halloween, no less. HBO’s been teasing that some regulars are going to die … News Flash: Most of the regulars (i.e., vampires) are already fucking dead! See ya next season, Bon Temps.
Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, Sunday) Season Finale: Larry’s epic trip to New York comes to a head in a whining/shouting showdown with asshole neighbor Michael J. Fox. Nice.
Entourage (HBO, Sunday) Series Finale: It’s finally over. Will Ari reconcile with Mrs. Ari (aka Melissa—I really expected a better name reveal)? Will Drama hang onto his cartoon sitcom? Will Eric get back together with Sloan? Will Turtle … what was he up to, again? Will Vince make Career Comeback #68? Will this alleged Entourage movie really happen? Let's say ... no, to all.
Squidbillies (Adult Swim, Sunday) Season Premiere: Helping America heal—thanks, Adult Swim.
Breaking Bad (AMC, Sunday) Come to Brewvies (677 South 200 West, SLC, 21 ) to watch it on the big screen with a big beer, totally free (the show, that is). (8 pm)
Also new Sunday:
9/11 Tributes Galore (Most Channels); Football (Other Channels); In the Flow With Affion Crockett (Fox); The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo); The Great Food Truck Race (Food Network)