What’s new tonight:
Modern Family (ABC) Mary Lynn Rajskub (24—Chloe!) guests as gay Mitchell’s old “girlfriend,” and old Jay gets pissed when Gloria tries to hook them up with another couple. There’s not room for another couple of anything there—ba-dum-bump!
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC) Attention Criminal Minds fans who still miss J.J., the show’s resident blond who was recently replaced by a younger-model blond: A.J. Cook guests on SVU tonight as—what else?—a rape victim who was attacked by a masked man (but probably not The Cape, because no one’s seen him). Ick twist: One suspect being questioned is her estranged father (Jeremy Irons).
The Defenders (CBS) Yes, it’s still on. Just wanted to put that out there: Jim Belushi remains employed in television.
Top Chef: All Stars (Bravo) Tonight, the remaining contestants not only have to cook fish entrees for a beach party, they also have to catch the fish. On the upside, perhaps Padma will be attending said beach party in a tiny bikini. On the downside, maybe Tom will be wearing a tinier banana hammock.
Also new tonight:
The Middle, Better With You, Cougar Town, Off the Map (ABC); Live to Dance (CBS); Minute to Win It (NBC); Human Target (Fox); Dog the Bounty Hunter, Storage Wars (A&E); Mythbusters (Discovery); Ghost Hunters International (SyFy); Conan (TBS)
Preview: A.J. Cook and Jeremy Irons in an extra-creepy Law & Order: SVU ...