What’s new tonight:
House (Fox) House and the gang (not to be confused with the ‘70s R&B group of the same name) treat a man who falls mysteriously ill after, get this, re-enacting the Crucifixion. Happy holidays from Fox!
Skating With the Stars (ABC) Series Debut: We’re going to need a re-clarification on the term “star”: Dancing With the Stars’ Bristol Palin is the daughter of a star, but the only thing she’s done on her own is get knocked up by an unemployed jackass—by that definition, your neighborhood Walmart is Star Academy. ABC’s “new” Skating With the “Stars” has Motley Crue’s Vince Neil, nutjob actress Sean Young and four more D-listers you couldn’t pick out of a TMZ lineup. Upside: There’s always the chance someone could get fatally sliced with an ice-skate blade. Come on, Bethenny Frankel!
Chelsea’s Big Interview Show (E!) In a new twist on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler talks to some people you’ve actually heard of: Actresses Anne Hathaway, Gwyneth Paltrow and … Christina Aguilera. Yes, Xtina is now an actress—haven’t you seen the ads for Burlesque? She’s acting her ass off.
Conan (TBS) It’s the beginning of Week 3—about the time the “curiosity” ratings begin to subside and the “real” ratings start to kick in. Tonight, Coco welcomes Chuck star Zachary Levi and (hey, here she is again) Christina Aguilera. And I don’t care what any of you say: Andy Richter is a fucking genius, and Max Weinberg isn’t missed in the least.
Also new tonight:
Dancing With the Stars (ABC); How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement, Two & a Half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii 5-0 (CBS); Chuck, The Event, Chase (NBC); Lie to Me (Fox); Cake Boss (TLC); Hoarders (A&E); In Treatment (HBO)
Preview: House diagnoses a “carpenter” with narcissism and delusions of grandeur? Oh, no he did-unt!