Multiple writers chose to punctuate reviews of the new film biography Jobs -- starring Ashton Kutcher as the late computer pioneer -- with jokey references to what Jobs himself would have done with this idea, or thought of it, given its seeming lack of creativity. Oh, the irony.
“… more or less embodies the sort of bland, go-with-the-flow creative thinking Jobs himself would have scorned.” – Justin Chang, Variety
“Jobs is a one-man show that needed to go for broke and doesn’t. My guess is that Jobs would give it a swat.” – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
“If Jobs had been a producer on Jobs, he would have sent it back to the lab for a redesign.” – Liam Lacey, The Globe and Mail
“Jobs himself would probably consider it the PC of Steve Jobs films.” – Anders Wright, San Diego Union-Tribune
“… the Jobs who insisted that his products always be thoroughly thought through would have been incensed by this movie's lack of curiosity.” – Tim Grierson, Deadspin
“… if a development team at Apple had cooked up this product, Jobs would have rejected it out of hand.” – Charlie McCollum, San Jose Mercury News
“This chronicle of a tech god may seem like a BlackBerry-style flick next to that cinematic iPhone 5, The Social Network. But don’t be fooled: Jobs is top of the line. Its late subject may or may not have approved — but he’d almost surely have claimed ownership for himself. – Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News
Others just opted for simple computer-based metaphors. Maybe we should have renamed it The Hacker Stamp this week.
“Jobs turns out to be the IBM PCjr of biographical dramas, hampered by creaky formatting and thinking entirely inside the box.” – Rafer Guzman, Newsday
“Jobs winds up as uninteresting and impenetrable as an Apple product user manual.” – Steve Persall, Tampa Bay Times
“Hollywood might someday design a sleek, prestige biopic worthy of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs. For now, he’s gotten a Dell.” – Greg Evans, Bloomberg News
And finally ... sadly ... this:
“… the performance at the center just isn’t up to the job.” – Adam Graham, Detroit News