Dear GYA, Everyone's mad because I knocked over a dumb rock. Get over it -- I'm out here saving lives, people! I'm making sure 200-million-year-old boulders aren't crushing little kids. Hell, what have you done lately to save a child? Did you know that Goblin Valley is filled with giant boulders that could easily kill you at any moment? Damn it, it's a death maze. If anything, everyone should be out there right now, smashing rocks, savin' lives! Anything happening this weekend after I destroy all those stupid 200-million-year-old boulders? -Glenn Taylor, American Fork
Glenn, While you're at it, make sure you crush all the dinosaur fossils. Those things could probably kill a man -- especially if they're fashioned into a club or spear. Here's what's up this weekend, starting with Friday's events:
At the Maverik Center, the Utah Grizzlies are facing off with the Idaho Steelheads tonight at 7. Tickets start at $12.
Pop-punk band For All Those Sleeping will be at In The Venue this evening. Skylit Drive is also on the bill. The doors open at 5. Tickets start at $15.
The Shred Shed will be celebrating one year of existence tonight with Shred Fest, beginning at 7. Music acts include Huldra, Die Off, Filth Lords, Jetty and Subrosa. Ticket prices vary.
Pop singer The Blow will be at Kilby Court tonight. Love Inks will open up. Tickets are $14. The show starts at 8.
King Khan and The Shrines will be performing at Urban Lounge. Hell Shovel and the Breakers are also performing. The show starts at 8 p.m Tickets are $15.
Singer and guitarist Ani DiFranco will be at The Depot this evening. Toshi Reagon is also on the bill. The show starts at 8. Tickets are $35 day of.
German indie-pop band Boy will be at Urban Lounge tonight. Jeremy Messersmith will open up. The show starts at 8. Tickets are $15.
Shred Fest continues at Shred Shed, with a slew of local rap talent including Dinekrew, Athiest, Dusk One and Giraffula. The show starts at 7 p.m. Ticket prices vary.
Country singer Miranda Lambert will be at Energy Solutions Arena. Dierks Bentley will open. The show starts 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $25.
Stand-up comedian Gabriel Iglesias will be onstage at the Maverik Center tonight at 7:30. Tickets start at $20.
Melt Banana will be at Urban Lounge this evening. Kinski will open up. The show start at 9. Tickets are $10.
Blues-rock band Otto & The Moaners will be performing at the Garage On Beck tonight. The show starts at 6. Admission is free.
For the weekend's complete list of things to do, click here.