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News Blog

It's A Red Meat Party

by Josh Loftin
- Posted // 2010-04-14 -

There ain't no party like a Red Meat Party.

City Weekly inadvertently received an invitation to the Red Meat Radio Party, which will apparently be the calmer alternative to the our recent Best Of party. Here's the always reliable Paul Rolly's report on the Red Meat Radio's (hosted by party gods Rep. Greg Hughes and Sen. Howard Stephenson) synopsis of our party, held last Friday night:

Basking in generalizations (which when believed by lawmakers will often beget bad legislation), they mentioned their frequent guest Holly Richardson getting a blogger award in City Weekly's annual "Best of Utah" edition.

They mentioned the publication's party celebrating the winners and then had to show their moral superiority over those "liberal media" types with a couple of slams

Hughes figured most of the folks were hippies with tie-dyed shirts. Stephenson then wondered "if they had to bring their own bottle (ha, ha)."

Well, they about got it right. Except that it was held at a bar and included free drinks, so we did not have to sneak in our liquor. But come one, who doesn't like tie dye?

Back to the real party, hosted by real party animals (elephants, not donkeys). Details of the Red Meat Party below, or invite here.

Host: Red Meat Radio's resident party animal, Spuds Reagan.

Conservatives unite ... for fun! We're gathering to recognize the greatest of the greatest among our always great conservative audience. This year, the Red Meat Radio May 5th party (no habla espaañol en Estados Unidos!) will really turn the volume on the boob box ... oops, boom box! ... and party like real Republicans. (As opposed to the pagan ritual known as City Weekly's Best of Party).

Here's the schedule of events:

7 p.m.: Dinner, (not) paid for by lobbyists. Bob Bennett will be on the spit, so bring your best sauce to slather on him. Tea will also be served.
8 p.m.: Ceremonial lighting of the miniature coal-fired power plant. However, to prove we're environmentalists, green Jell-o is served.
9 p.m.: Metal Gods takes the stage. The party starts now!
10 p.m. Midget tossing. The basement Sauce & Meat room opens, featuring The F Boogeyman.
11 p.m. Hot tub becomes clothing optional.
12 p.m. Headed home! Remember to drive safe, but if you get pulled over, fight the charge like hell in court. Cheers!

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