Dear GYA, It doesn't take a genius to know that a lot of things can go wrong when you choose to text and drive. Studies show that texting while driving leads to a 92 percent likelihood of you driving your convertible into a truck filled with horse manure. Also, impact risk is elevated to near 100 percent if you happen to be texting the phrase, "Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?" Anything happening this weekend that's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship? - Biff Tannen, Downtown
Biff, I hate manure. Here's what's up for the weekend. Let's start with Friday's events:
Rock band Betty Hates Everything will be onstage at Metro Bar this evening. The show starts at 9. Tickets are $5.
Power-pop band Fun. will be at The Great Saltair, beginning at 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $49.
Local stand-up comedian Jay Whittaker will be on the mic at Wiseguys Trolley Square, starting at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $12.
Country-rock musician JD Souther will be performing at the Egyptian Theatre. The show starts at 8 p.m. (also Saturday). Tickets start at $29.
Jewish rapper, actor and Bon Jovi stunt-double Matisyahu will be at The Complex tonight, starting at 7.
Folksinger Jewel will be at Deer Valley Resort tonight. The show starts at 7. Tickets start at $40.
Real Salt Lake will be taking on the the Columbus Crew tonight at 7:30. Tickets start at $20.
Rapper Phora will be at The Project, beginning at 7 p.m. Style Crafters, Eskupe, Anthro Beats and iSuppose are also on the bill. Tickets start at $5.
DJ duo Cosmic Gate will be at Park City Live this evening. The show starts at 9. Tickets are $20.
Local rapper Burnell Washburn will be performing at Urban Lounge. Common Market, Pat Maine, DJ Electronic Battleship and Malev MC are also on the bill. The show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets are $8.
Bluegrass trio the Ben Miller Band will be at Canyons Resort tonight. The show starts at 6. Admission is free.
City Weekly, True TV, Bohemian Brewery & Brewvies will be showing the final season of AMC's Breaking Bad, free on the big screen tonight at 9:30.
Bourbon House will be hosting Funk and Soul Night with DJ Street Jesus, starting at 9.
Snoop Dogg will be at Park City Live tonight at 9. Tickets start at $50.
At noon, there will be a Quinceanera Expo at The Complex. Tickets are $5.
For this weekend's complete list of things to do, click here.