Dear GYA, Did you hear that McDonald's is now serving fish McBites on their menu? This is great news because I'm really sick and tired of all these liberal scientists saying the oceans are running out of fish-based slurry cubes. If that were the case, we wouldn't be eating these babies for 99 cents a pop. It's called economics, idiots. Anything happening this weekend after I slap another scientist with McFacts? - Jimmy Beledouchi, Draper
James, These liberal junkies will say anything as long as it backs their leftist agenda. Like, the other day I heard some hippie say Smilk isn't good for my toned American body -- yeah, OK, buddy. Here's what's up this weekend, starting with Friday's events:
- At the Maverik Center, check out the All-Star Monster Truck Tour, beginning at 7:30 p.m. Tomorrow, there are two shows at 2 and 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $10-$45.
- Bronx rapper Action Bronson will be onstage at The Downstairs at 9 p.m. Consice Kilgore will be opening things up. Tickets are $50.
- The dog whisperer himself, Cesar Millan, will be at Abravanel Hall at 8 p.m. The two-hour show teaches pet owners to domesticate their unruly animals. Don't bring your own dog. Tickets are $60-$106.
- The guy behind all those Jason Bourne soundtracks, DJ and producer Paul Oakenfold, will be at Star Bar at 9 p.m. Tickets are $75.
- Punk band Sum 41 will be onstage at The Depot. I AM DYNAMITE and Hunter Valentine will open. Tickets are $26.
- Trip-hop producer and DJ Wax Tailor will be at The Complex. The Dusty Rainbox Experience will warm it up. Tickets are $12.
- Stand-up comedian Dave Attell will be on the mic at Wiseguys West Valley. Tonight and tomorrow's shows are at 7 and 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $30.
- DJ Mom Jeans (aka Hyde from That '70s Show) will be on the decks at The Downstairs tonight at 9 p.m.
- The Star Bar is hosting reggae legend Junior Marvin and Bob Marley's Wailers at 9 p.m. Tickets are $45.
- The Masquerade Ball will be going down at the Chase Fine Arts Center at 9:30 p.m. Tickets are $5 with mask, or $8 without.
- Pinback will be performing at 9 p.m. at The Depot. Judgement Day will open things up. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door.
- Canadian rappers Sweatshop Union will be at Kilby Court, beginning at 7 p.m. Local emcee Burnell Washburn will open. Tickets are $10.
- Stand-up comedian Todd Johnson will be onstage at Wiseguys Ogden at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10.
- City Weekly, True TV & Brewvies will be showing a free screening of the latest episode of Downton Abbey Season 3. The Jan. 27 episode of Downton Abbey will be shown on the screens in bar area. Show starts at 8 p.m.
- Rio Gallery will be showcasing Arrivals and Departures at 7 p.m. Check out Brian Staker's write-up for more info.
- Piper Down will be throwing its weekly Kerry O'Kee show tonight at 9 p.m.
For this weekend's complete list of things to do, click here.