Dear GYA, That's it, I'm asking for everybody's birth certificates! To be fair, I've requested a birth certificate from my own toupee -- to settle the debate from all those left-wing birthers who claim it looks like a Canadian fighting squirrel. Well, it isn't Canadian, damn it, it's Italian-American! Anything happening this weekend where I can check people's birth certificates? - Donald Trump
Donald, you should know that no matter how many times you prove the origin of your toupee, those left-wing radicals won't believe you. Even if the issue is irrelevant, the fat-cat liberals will just keep wasting everyone's time by bringing it up over and over again. It's too bad, really. Anyways, here's what's happening this weekend:
Let's start with Friday:
- The 10th annual Street Car and Motorcycle Show will be going on in downtown Ogden this evening, starting at 5 p.m.
- At the Covey Center for the Arts in Provo, check out the Miss Utah United States Pageant, beginning at 7 p.m.
- The Pony Express Days Demolition Derby is happening at the Eagle Mountain City Rodeo Grounds at 5 p.m.
- At 6 p.m,. the Grand Theatre will be hosting the Salt Lake Comedy Festival. The City Weekly Street Team will be there snapping photos and handing out swag!
-Stand-up comedian Dan Cummins will be on the mic at Wiseguys Trolley Square. He'll be performing two shows, at 7 and 9 p.m.
As for Saturday:
- A Community Bike Ride with Bike Advocate Joe Kurmaskie and Mayor Becker will be at the Main Library, beginning at 10 a.m.
- Speaking of bicycles, the Bicycle Collective will be hosting its Bicycle Prom at the Rio Grande Depot, starting at 6:30 p.m.
- At 7:30 p.m., check out the Covey Center for the Arts Date Night Dance in Provo.
- Stand-up comedian Heath Harmison will be performing at Wiseguys Comedy Ogden tonight. Click the link for more details.
- For some roller-derby action, check out the Junction City Roller Dolls: Parade of Panic, beginning at 7 p.m. at the Golden Spike Event Center in Ogden.
- The Dirty Dash will be going down at Soldier Hollow in Midway this morning at 9 a.m.
- The Garage will be hosting the Thunderfist CD Release Party tonight at 9 p.m.
And finally Sunday's events:
- Head over to Fort Buenaventura Park and check out the Ogden Bluegrass and Acoustic Music Festival happening all day Sunday.
- Sheryl Crow will be performing at Red Butte Gardens tonight at 7 p.m.
- Don't miss the Utah Pride Parade starting at the City & County Building at 10 a.m.
- The Wasatch Front Farmers Market will be happening at 9 a.m. at Wheeler Historic Farm.
- Pick up some new records at the Craft Sabbath Vinyl Record Fair at the Main Library, starting at 1 p.m.
- Every Sunday City Weekly, Epic Brewing, Brewvies and True TV show a free screening of the latest Mad Men episode! The show starts at 8 p.m.
For this weekend's complete list of things to do, click here.