Dear GYA, I just wanna say I sincerely apologize for those Obama comments I made the other day. I'll tell you like I told those secret service guys. I was simply using what's referred to in the literary world as a matador or minotaur -- whatever. You know, it's when you say something that actually means something else. Anyways, I got a lot of time on my hands now that all my shows got canceled -- anything good this weekend? - Ted Nugent
Ted, I know what you mean. I use metaphors all the time. For example, if I say something like, "We need to chop heads off in November," what I mean is, "Let's grab some beers after work." Well, there's a ton of stuff going on this weekend so you couldn't have had all your shows canceled at a better time.
Let's start with Friday:
- Awareness barbecue and poster-hanging party for Cover The Night: Kony 2012 will be held at The Bay at 5 p.m.
- The Salt Lake City Bees will be taking on the Las Vegas 51s at 6:35 p.m.
- At 7 p.m., stand-up comedian Jackie Kashian will be performing at Wiseguys Trolley Square.
- Rapper and weed enthusiast Andre Nickatina will be on the mic at In The Venue tonight at 7 p.m.
- At 7:30 p.m., the theatrical performance of FRACK will be held at Sugar Space.
- Bar Deluxe will be hosting the reggae band Natural Roots' CD release party at 9 p.m.
As for Saturday:
- Party for The Planet at the Tracey Aviary from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
- At City Creek, Macy's Million-Dollar Makeover with Clinton Kelly will be going down at 1 p.m.
- The Utah Jazz are taking on the Orlando Magic at 8:30 p.m.
- At 8 p.m., check out local rapper Burnell Washington and friends at Muse Music.
- The downtown Salt Lake City Public Library will be hosting the Queer Prom Celebration at 8 p.m.
- Dubstep DJ and producer Rusko will be performing at The Complex at 9 p.m.
- At 9 p.m., Freestyle Fellowship emcee Myka 9 and friends will be performing at Bar Deluxe.
- At the Great Saltair, Rise Against and a Day to Remember will be on stage at 9 p.m.
- Indie rockers Tea Leaf Green will be performing at Urban Lounge at 9 p.m.
And for Sunday:
- Comedian Hal Sparks will be on the mic at Wiseguys Trolley Square at 7 p.m.
- At 8 p.m., Bourbon House will be hosting the Beard & Mustache Competition. City Weekly's The Word will be there taking photos and handing out swag.
- Blues guitarist Joe Bonamassa will be performing at Abravanel Hall at 8 p.m.
- City Weekly, Epic Brewing and True TV will be showing a free screening of the latest Mad Men episode at Brewvies at 8 p.m. Best of all, it's free!
- Free stand-up with Sunday Funnies at Mo's Neighborhood Grill at 9:30 p.m.
For the weekend's compete list of things to do, click here.
Wolf is also the author of City Weekly's blog The Secret Handshake.