Dear GYA, I’m on the run for a crime I didn’t commit. You haven’t seen a one-armed man by any chance, have you? Ah, there's no time. Detective Gerard is after me and I need a good place to blend in, preferably a parade or any other type of St. Paddy’s Day-themed event. – Dr. Richard Kimble M.D., an undisclosed location
Dr. Kimble, if I’ve learned anything from the movies, it’s that the best way to escape pursuing U.S. Marshals is to put on a green hat. Just do that. As for St. Paddy’s Day events, we've got a grip this weekend.
First thing I’d do is wake up at 10 a.m. and check out the parade at the Gateway. In my opinion, the best way to celebrate a guy who hated snakes is a big ol' parade through a shopping mall. Then head over to The Depot for the parade's afterparty. They'll have music from Swagger, Slaymaker Hill, Wailing O'Sheas and The Heathen Highlander Pipe Band. Plus, there'll be Irish dancers! Hizzah!
Or if Irish music and blaring bag pipes isn't your thing, head over to Bar Deluxe for its St. Paddy's Day Rockabilly Revival. The bagpipe-free event will feature The Endless Indulgence Fashion Show and tunes from The Blue Moon Bombers, Mason Lee and The Rock & Roll Space Studs. Admission is $10 and the festivities start at 8 p.m.
If you like your beer extra-green, then go crush some Irish car bombs at Piper Down. This party starts at 10 a.m. There'll be authentic Irish cuisine, an authentic leprechaun and plenty of live music from bands like The Red-Headed Step Twins, Heathen Highlanders and The Rebel Celts.
Other St. Paddy's Day parties worth a gander:
- Fats Grill & Pool's St. Patrick's Day Party with Confusion, Slow Ride and Wasnatch
- Leprechaun Inn's St. Patrick's Day Party
A few events this weekend that have absolutely nothing to do with shamrocks, leprechauns or green beer:
- Saturday at noon, Thunder Over Utah Air Show
- Saturday night at 7 p.m., the Utah Jazz face off with the Golden State Warriors
- Saturday @ 7 p.m. Junction City Roller Dolls season opener
- Saturday night at 8 p.m. Real Salt Lake takes on the New York Red Bulls
For a full list of this weekend's festivities (including Sunday stuff), click here.
Wolf is also the author of City Weekly's The Secret Handshake. Which you can read here.