Monday, October 3, 2011
Welcome to ... The Secret Handshake
Posted By Colin Wolf on October 3, 2011, 1:22 PM
Welcome to The Secret Handshake, City Weekly’s blog of all things too awesome, pointless and inappropriate for print. Think of it as City Weekly’s dirty-clothes pile -- you hate looking at it but inevitably you find yourself digging through it a couple of times a week. Instead of ranting on about what this blog is, it might be easier to explain what this blog isn’t. As good ol' Uncle Ben pointed out in the first Spider-Man movie, “With great power comes great responsibility,” so to you, the readers, I present The Secret Handshake’s manifesto:
1. I promise to never use my blogging abilities to review shit I want for free (unless it’s As Seen On TV products, alcoholic beverages, a Segway or crap from Sky Mall).
2. I promise to never blog about Anime (go somewhere else if you want to read about people who hate their parents and a have secret schoolgirl fetishes).
3. I promise to never blog about how good some place is to eat (unless it considers bacon a condiment and Chipotle an adjective).
4. I promise to never blog about politics (unless I have a picture of someone picketing with a sign that says “God Hates Figs”).
But most importantly,
5. I promise to never interview hot women because I think it’ll get me laid. Gavin’s Underground already has this covered).
Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why the hell is this blog called The Secret Handshake? The name sucks.” Well, it’s simple really. City Weekly turned down all the other names I submitted:
The Mysterious Merkin
Not Affiliated With Fresh Prince
Bangin’ Out With Bieber.
Where Are My Gerunds At?
Whatever Happened To Jesus Jones?
Prestige Worldwide
Dave Grohl’s Goatee
and
The Hot Bottom
After Bill Frost sifted through these name and made an Ocho list with it, he decided we should go with The Secret Handshake.
Every week, I will explore the depths of the Internet, review stuff suitable only for those who hate everything, showcase photos of weird and awesome locals and go on some pointless adventures. Of course, if none of this works there’s always plan B.
I truly hope you enjoy this blog. After all, it is designed for those of you who have the attention span of a squirrel and who typically only read 1/10 of a City Weekly paper (there may be more of you than I think). Since you’ve made it this far down the page, and to commemorate the launch of this blog, I offer you this incredible link ...
I know, I know … you’re glad you clicked on that. You're welcome.
On Topic...
-
Film Reviews: New Releases for April 12
Civil War, Escape from Germany, Coup de Chance, Hundreds of Beavers, La Chimera, Sting
- Apr 11, 2024
-
Film Reviews: New Releases for April 5
Monkey Man, The First Omen, Wicked Little Letters, Girls State, Scoop, Exhuma
- Apr 4, 2024
-
Music Plus: March 29
Das Energi Festival headliners, Ogden Twilight lineup
- Mar 29, 2024
- More The Secret Handshake » More Culture »
More by Colin Wolf
-
Catching Up With DJ Matty Mo
2014's DJ of the Year is keeping the good kind of busy
- Jan 7, 2015
-
Best Local Rap of 2014
Utah-released hip-hop you shouldn't sleep on
- Dec 31, 2014
-
There's a Michael Jackson tribute band in Park City tonight
- Dec 29, 2014
- More »
Latest in Buzz Blog
