Black & Blue
A pretty, homeless teen musician hooks up with other pretty, homeless teen musicians and a wise old bluesman on the Venice Beach boardwalk; uplifting tunes and paltry tips ensue. But at least they’re all pretty.
The Descent 2
The lone survivor of The Descent’s all-female underground expedition (Shauna MacDonald) is forced back into the caves by a skeptical local sheriff. Guess what? The same inbred cave goons attack again! Dumb local sheriffs.
A successful Santa Barbara divorcee (Meryl Streep) must choose between her boring new boyfriend (Steve Martin) and her slightly-more-interesting ex-husband (Alec Baldwin). This is as exciting as Santa Barbara gets.
A murderous lesbian couple (lipstick, of course) rises from the dead on New Year’s Eve (as vampires, of course) and start killing all over again. The teen musicians, dumb local sheriffs and Santa Barbara divorcees go first.
Can a Twilight vampire-flick parody ever be as funny as the real thing? Probably not, but at least Transylmania has far more half-naked women and fart jokes than New Moon … but about the same as True Blood.
More New DVD Releases (April 27)
Disgrace, District B13: Ultimatum, Five Minutes of Heaven, Georgia O’Keefe, Ghost Hunters: Season 5, The Hills: Season 5, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, It’s Gary Shandling’s Show: Season 1, Marked, Rita Rocks: Season 1, Sherri: Season 1