Eight ways HBO’s Big Love should have ended:
8. Sen. Bill Henrickson convinces the state of Utah to legalize polygamy; series continues as CBS sitcom Three & a Half Wives.
7. Juniper Creek prophet Roman Grant returns with an army of prairie-dress zombies.
6. Closeted Alby Grant comes out and establishes the Church of Latter-Gay Saints; series continues as Alby, Damn! on Logo.
5. Both versions of Henrickson daughter “Teeny” meet, tearing a hole in the time-space continuum.
4. Henrickson son Ben marries Heather, Rhonda and Margene; series continues as 84070 on The CW.
3. Barb Henrickson and sister wife Nicki Grant open a chain of polygamist-friendly buffet restaurants in Bill’s abandoned Home Plus stores.
2. Henrickson daughter Sarah and husband Scott move to New Mexico and start a meth lab/diner; series continues as AMC drama Breaking Fast.
1. Bill gets randomly shot down in the street … by Utah’s new Official State Gun!