Bearing the Jazz | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

Bearing the Jazz 

8 favorable takeaways from the worst Utah Jazz season since the '80s

Pin It
Favorite
art19058.jpg

Eight favorable takeaways from the worst Utah Jazz season since the ’80s:

8. If you still haven’t learned the name of “that guy who replaced Jerry Sloan,” you’re in luck.

7. One more “rebuilding” season and the Jazz will be eligible for huge Home Depot discounts.

6. The local performance pressure is off the Salt Lake Bees, Real Salt Lake and the Utah Crimson Fliers Quidditch Team.

5. EnergySolutions Arena may be renamed Cymbalta SadBox Stadium.

4. Remember all those $1 Chicken McNuggets at McDonald’s on home-game days, ingrates?

3. The Jazz Bear died peacefully in bed, his last words being “Stockton to Mal … onnne.”

2. The odds that the Jazz will hire a new goofy-looking white coach more Utahns can relate to are pretty good.

1. You got two basketball-related Ochos this season. You’re welcome.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

Pin It
Favorite

Tags:

More by Bill Frost

  • Fast Frankenfood

    Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Baby, One Meh Time

    Britney Ever After is cheap and unnecessary; Billions is back.
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Goodbye, Girls

    Lena Dunham's Girls begins the end; the robots return in Humans.
    • Feb 8, 2017
  • More »

Latest in The Ocho

  • Fast Frankenfood

    Eight new fast-food innovations coming soon to top Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa:
    • Feb 15, 2017
  • Damned Grammys

    Eight more artists boycotting the 2017 Grammy Awards besides Kanye West, Drake and Justin Bieber:
    • Feb 8, 2017
  • 10 Years of This?

    Eight fun factoids for the 10th anniversary of The Ocho:
    • Feb 1, 2017
  • More »

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • SLC FYI

    8 facts and tips for first-timers visiting Salt Lake City
    • Jul 15, 2015
  • WhiskeyPete Was Here

    8 other suspected "secret" online pseudonyms used by Mayor Ralph Becker's spokesman besides "WhiskeyPete" on The Salt Lake Tribune's website
    • Aug 5, 2015

© 2017 Salt Lake City Weekly

Website powered by Foundation