POSTED // Nov 21,2007 - Curses, Foiled Again Vincent Carl Schettner, 63, became the prime suspect in the theft of thousands of dollars from parking meters in St. Paul, Minn., because he made frequent large deposits to his personal bank account, always in quarters and dollar...

POSTED // Nov 21,2007 - Dear Mexican: What’s the deal with Spanish-language car dealership commercials that feature bikini-clad porn star-wannabes copulating with used cars? I just saw one where three girls were rubbing melted chocolate on each other. Surely, no one in...

POSTED // Nov 21,2007 - Since you’re on an energy kick these days, I thought I would ask you: how viable is cellulosic ethanol? —Rob Dennett, via e-mail Hang on, Rob—let’s back up a bit, just to make sure everyone’s on board. Until very recently,...

POSTED // Nov 21,2007 - Congratulations to our Holly Jolly Shopping Spree winners: Week 1: Ashley Faust of Salt Lake City Cindy Lorn of West Jordan DeeAnna Wardle of Salt Lake City Matt Johnson of Tooele Cooper Hayward of Sandy Diane Toole of West Jordan Week 2: Drawn Carly...

POSTED // Nov 14,2007 - ARIES (March 21-April 19) I love it when you forget all your troubles and get lost in thoughts about your friends’ problems. I love it when you place your entire focus on the heat steaming from your cup of coffee or on the sun reflecting on a puddle...

POSTED // Nov 14,2007 - Curses, Foiled Again German authorities charged a 33-year-old factory worker with stealing more than 1 million screws from his employer. The man smuggled between 2,000 and 7,000 screws out of work each night for two years and then auctioned them on an...

POSTED // Nov 14,2007 - Dear Mexican: Is Lou Dobbs right when he says that close to 80 hospitals in California have been closed down because of the illegals, or is he lying? —Cabrónes No Necesitamos Dear CNN: Dobbs is right to a certain point, and only in spite...

POSTED // Nov 14,2007 - What’s the straight dope about the correlation between vasectomy and dementia? —A concerned post-op patient, via e-mail Can men who have had vasectomies have wet dreams? —Scott, via e-mail Though even the idea of a scalpel nearing the...

POSTED // Nov 7,2007 - ARIES (March 21-April 19) Read these lines by Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai, translated by Chana Block and Stephen Mitchell: “A flock of sheep near the airport or a high voltage generator beside the orchard: these combinations open up my life like...

POSTED // Nov 7,2007 - Curses, Foiled Again Police investigating a break-in at a residence in Yonkers, N.Y., identified John Lyles, 36, as their suspect because he removed his boots to avoid making noise but then left them behind when he fled empty-handed after the homeowner’s...