Deep End | Rings True: Olympic Spirit plays the misfit again at Beijing Games

POSTED // Aug 13,2008 - Now that the Olympics are upon us, I thought it would be instructive and edifying to talk to someone who has been around the games pretty much from the beginning. Accordingly, I Googled “the Olympic Spirit,” and got the e-mail address and...

Deep End

Deep End | Sandbagged: Dissed by bag handlers, his clothes take a wild detour.

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Aug 6,2008 - I spent a week in Buenos Aires without my luggage, which in itself was not all that bad—it’s easy enough to wash out your stuff in the hotel, and you can buy the implements of dental care around the corner. A good discipline, traveling light....

Deep End

Deep End | Blame and Fortune: Ask McCain: Baldness, impotence, tattoos are all Obama’s fault.

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jul 30,2008 - John McCain has launched an all-out attack on Barack Obama, blaming him not only for high gas prices, global warming, worldwide terrorism and same-sex marriage, but also for the rising incidence of ill-temper, constipation, hair loss and erectile dysfunction...

Deep End

Deep End | Calendar Boys: Elder Romney’s loincloth pose could dash a VP dream

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jul 23,2008 - Mitt had left me a message. I could tell from his tone that he was quite agitated, but all he said was, “Call me ASAP.” His voice was high and pinched, not at all like that authoritative monotone so familiar to the millions of Americans. I...

Deep End

Deep End | Hear Me Roar: Wireless headset talkers join the ranks of the mentally disturbed

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jul 16,2008 - In light of a new and disturbing behavior, mental-health professionals around the world are being compelled to re-evaluate the long-established disorder known as schizophrenia. “We used to think schizophrenics were simply loonies,” said...

Deep End

Deep End | Miracle Food: Reach for a Cheeto to live longer and happier

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jul 9,2008 - Recently The New York Times announced the 11 Best Foods for human consumption. Topping the definite list were beets (high in cancer-fighting folates), followed by cabbage (combats cancer), Swiss chard (good for your eyes), cinnamon (lowers blood sugar),...

Deep End

Deep End | McCain’s Firecracker: Orrin for Veep will make John look positively virile

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jun 25,2008 - The McCain campaign has already decided upon its vice presidential candidate, sources tell City Weekly, and it plans to make the announcement on the Fourth of July, perhaps at Provo’s Stadium of Fire. “The choice is gonna knock your socks...

Deep End

Deep End | The Pantsuit Party: Diehard Hillary followers have three words for you.

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jun 19,2008 - Pundits are comparing the Hillarians, that vehement horde of true believing pantsuits, to the Ellen Jamesians, pointing out their shared belief in cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Deep End

Deep End | The Pantsuit Party: Diehard Hillary followers have three words for you

By D.P. Sorensen

POSTED // Jun 18,2008 - Pundits are comparing the Hillarians, that vehement horde of true believing pantsuits, to the Ellen Jamesians, pointing out their shared belief in cutting off your nose to spite your face. (Readers will recall that the Jamesian, in John Irving’s...

Deep End

Deep End | Bar Hoping: DABC to drinkers: Come out of your closets and into the clubs

POSTED // Jun 11,2008 - In a shocking about-face, the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control voted today to abolish membership fees for so-called private clubs. Not only that, they voted to offer incentives for citizens to visit private clubs to indulge their drinking...