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Home » Articles » Features »  Deep End
 
Wednesday, March 10,2010
Deep End

Aqua Velva Man

Success means never having to say you’re sorry.

By D.P. Sorensen
“How’d I do?” he asked, mopping his brow with a super-absorbent Brawny paper towel. He had just endured 15 minutes with Letterman, and it wasn’t pretty ...
Wednesday, March 3,2010
Deep End

Technicolor Screams

When cell-phone distracted drivers and spandex collide.

By D.P. Sorensen
One of the pleasures of walking my dog along Wasatch Drive, just above the mortuary, is imagining the mayhem that would result from a motor vehicle scattering the colorfully clad spandex bicyclists ...
Wednesday, February 24,2010
Deep End

Choose the Upright Position

Mit saves the world, one derelict passenger at a time.

By D.P. Sorensen
My old missionary companion Mit Romney is a bit of a fussbudget, so none of his close friends were surprised by the recent airplane incident, which I witnessed.
Wednesday, February 17,2010
Deep End

Call of Nature

Lawmakers defend Utah’s freedom from meddling, clothes-wearing feds.

By D.P. Sorensen
Yesterday, the Utah Legislature, voting along party lines, approved a measure that will return Utah to a state of nature.
Wednesday, February 10,2010
Deep End

Idiocracy

Legislators embrace their intellectual failings.

By D.P. Sorensen
"Everyone knows we have the dumbest Legislature in the land," said Herb Swander, the man who came up with the idea to raise the IQ level in the Utah Legislature.
Wednesday, February 3,2010
Deep End

Zoo Revolt

Zebra deaths trigger animal uprising.

By D.P. Sorensen
In an unprecedented demonstration of solidarity, animals all over the world are boycotting Utah’s Hogle Zoo.
Wednesday, January 27,2010
Deep End

(Nude) Model Family

Mit Romney and Scott Brown have more than a “brief” connection.

By D.P. Sorensen
My former missionary companion, Mit Romney, was mad as hell. “Why does this happen to me all the time?"
Wednesday, January 20,2010
Deep End

The Man with a Plan

Someone’s in charge, right?

By D.P. Sorensen
If we are willing to cut God (by the way, does anyone know what his last name is?) some slack, we could say that he just wasn’t paying attention...
Wednesday, January 13,2010
Deep End

Downtown Spreading

LDS Church eyes parking lot for the sport of the gods, lawn bowling.

By D.P. Sorensen
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to get back in touch with old friends.
Wednesday, January 6,2010
Deep End

Into Their Couplets

Utah’s big shots usher in a new year.

By D.P. Sorensen
Everyone came to our New Year’s party, Even Sarah Palin, trim and tarty.
 
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