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The Tinfoil Hat State

By City Weekly Readers
Posted // December 28,2011 -

The Dec. 22 Salt Lake Tribune was quite interesting.

First, there was the article about the state legislator who wants to let Utah opt out of daylight saving time. And the reason for this? We don’t want the federal government telling us what time it should be in our state. Well, while you’re at it, why don’t you pass a law that puts us in the Pacific time zone, too! Maybe I could sleep later in a different dimension, or something?

Before we had time zones, railroad conductors would set their pocket watches back one minute every nine miles traveled east, and the opposite going west. You really want that again?

Then, in the local section, the ultimate paranoid craziness. The folks down around Kanab see a helicopter with “Gubment” markings on it and, instead of assuming it was a local law-enforcement agency searching for a fugitive or following a high-speed chase, they assume it’s the federal government “spying” on them!

Wow. These are the same folks who see “black helicopters” in the distance and think the federal government is dropping drugs or chemicals on them with jet contrails, have towns that require you to own a gun to live there, and have declared parts of southern Utah a “United Nations Free Zone.”

Our state motto needs to be changed from “Industry” to: “Utah: The Tinfoil Hat State.”

I guess this is the same “logic” that demands free-market solutions to everything while choking the free market to death with a lack of liquor licenses, and declaring themselves super-patriotic while hating the federal government and all the regulations/protections/services it provides.

As Forrest Gump said, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Living in Utah is a challenge, if you’re smart. If you’re an idiot? Not so much.

Jeff Stickley

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Posted // December 28,2011 at 12:17 Oh, god, that helicoptor thing made me sick when I first read it. That there are knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathers in this state who believe in 'black helicoptor' spying (Excuse me, redneck, but just WTF do have going on in your pitifu, empty lives that makes you think you are worth the actual cost of 10 seconds of government surveillance?) Seriously, you fez-wearing, cymbal banging monkeys! What kind of twisted, dysfunctional ego do you have, anyway? Probably afraid of flouride and vaccinations and Black Panthers and government cheese, too.


Posted // December 28,2011 at 08:00 We called the local authorities first to see if they were searching for anyone and they said they didn\\'t know anything about it, that they don\\'t own a helicopter. Tis the season to be nice, right?