LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
In order for some plants to thrive in the tropical forests of South America, they need bats to eat their fruits and poop out their seeds while flying around. Biologists call the bat excrement by a more lyrical name: seed rain. It’s not too much of a stretch to invoke this relationship as an apt metaphor for your life right now, Libra. Like the bat-dependent plants, you now require the help of fertility agents whose work may be a bit messy.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
It’s the Week of the Fabulous Smirk. Not the Week of the Arrogant Smirk or the Vengeful Smirk or the Hateful, Whiny, Passive-Aggressive Smirk. Rather, the Smirk that Passeth All Understanding. The Wise, Charitable, Forbearing Smirk. The Uber-Smirk that says, “I’ve figured out what everyone’s hiding, and I love them anyway.” You are ready, Scorpio, to explore the Divine Smirk that arises naturally when you have outwitted an obstacle that was obscuring the truth from you; when you have finally seen through the delusion you were under and guessed the secret you weren’t smart enough to see before.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
This would be a good week for you to compete in a flamethrower competition. You’d probably win. Why? Because according to my analysis of the astrological omens, you currently have an unprecedented knack for playing with fire. You would most likely also be victorious in a marshmallow-roasting contest or a jump-over-the-bonfire tournament. And you would probably do surprisingly well in any activity that might be described as “sitting in the hot seat.”
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
“The great theme is not Romeo and Juliet,” said poet Anne Sexton. “The great theme we all share is that of becoming ourselves, of overcoming our father and mother, of assuming our identities somehow.” This is certainly your great theme, Capricorn. And it’s especially important for you to devote yourself to it now. You’re at a turning point in your life-long transformation. You’re being presented with a clear-cut choice between sinking back into the ill-fitting yet comfortable mold that others have shaped for you, or else striding out into the frontier in a brave push to become a higher, deeper, more complete version of yourself.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“We only hear questions that we are able to answer,” said Friedrich Nietzsche. Luckily for you, Aquarius, there are two big, long-simmering questions for which you have recently begun to sniff out the answers. That means you’re now able, at least potentially, to hear those questions. I have three pieces of advice to help ensure that you actually hear them. First, wash your brain out so it’s got more free space in it. Second, give your listening skills a tune-up. Third, meditate on Edgar Allen Poe’s idea that “Those who dream by day know many things which escape those who dream only by night.”
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Back in 1995, I began seeing a psychotherapist whose influence ultimately improved me in a thousand ways. At the end of our first session, she handed me a note as I left. It read: “If you don’t articulate your conscious desires, your unconscious patterns will come true.” She gazed at me firmly and said, “Don’t come back until you’ve proved to yourself that those words are true. All my work will be of no use to you unless you take them to heart.” It took me exactly 23 days to prove to myself that what she’d written was true. Now I offer you the same challenge, Pisces. Spend the upcoming week in intense contemplation on the hypothesis, “If you don’t articulate your conscious desires, your unconscious patterns will come true.”
Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.