“Mormonism Created Me”
Williams is also a different kind of Mormon, albeit now an ex-Mormon. A radio producer at KRCL, writer and “queer thinker,” Williams has participated in numerous protests against the LDS Church. A returned LDS missionary, he says, “If it weren’t for Joseph Smith and his golden plates, I wouldn’t be here. Mormonism created me.”
His religion left an indelible mark on him: “The most beautiful thing about Mormonism is that it cultivates a deep sense of belonging and community,” he says. “I was lost for years without that.”
Williams became inactive in the church about year after his mission. More recently, he met his boyfriend at one of the kiss-ins on Temple Square in 2009, sparked after a gay couple was detained by LDS Church security and later the police for kissing on the Main Street plaza.
“I was a keynote speaker who was standing in the crowd,” Williams says, recalling how he and his boyfriend met. “I needed someone to kiss, and I found the cutest guy there and grabbed him and kissed him. He has been my boyfriend for three years.”
While he has found happiness in a relationship, he struggles to remain close with his parents. “This whole gay thing has caused such a wedge in my relationship with my father. We talk regularly but are not close. He knows nothing about my life. We have a very shallow, superficial relationship, and he doesn’t know how to process the fact that he has a gay son. I don’t want other kids to feel ostracized from their parents like I have been.”
The activist’s anger with Utah politics and the state’s dominant religion is quick to bubble to the surface. “We can’t gloss over the fact that the Mormon church has been aggressively anti-gay for decades,” Williams says. “There was shock therapy at BYU, counseling gay men to get married—which is abusive to both the man and the woman—and political campaigns all across the country in which they aggressively attacked the gay community.
“The divide has been so volatile,” Williams says. “After Prop 8, 3,000 people surrounded the Temple. And it isn’t just the church—it’s the Legislature. People like [former West Jordan Republican Sen.] Chris Buttars and [Eagle Forum president] Gayle Ruzicka have been attacking gay people for years, using their religion as a motivation and excuse.”
People Are Ready for This
“To truly heal the divide, we all agreed that we needed to march together. It was a wonderful convergence,” says Williams of his meeting with Munson. “But we knew there would be people on both sides who would question the appropriateness of their parade presence. There could be reprisals at wards and stakes.”
“[Mormons Building Bridges] chose to march on their own,” says Valerie Larabee, executive director of the Utah Pride Center, the sponsor of the annual festival and parade. Coincidentally, someone on the other side of the rainbow was making a wish for a group like Munson’s. Dustin Lance Black, the award-winning screenwriter of the movie Milk and a former Mormon, was invited to be the parade’s grand marshal. He phoned Larabee asking if there could possibly be any Mormons to march with him at the front of the parade. Larabee says she replied: “I’ve got some!”
Munson had purchased a slot for her group that was about 80 entries back in the parade. Larabee moved them up front, right behind Black, who, as grand marshal, would ride in the first parade car. “We realized there might be a little pushback around [the Mormons being first],” Larabee says. “But what I saw on the parade route was tears.”
Larabee reflected on the many judgmental comments spoken about LGBT folks by political and religious leaders over the years. “You can be an adult and hear these things and attribute them to the fear and ignorance of the people who are saying that,” Larabee says. “Young people who don’t have enough life experience to acknowledge that will think ‘I’m bad, and I’m wrong.’
“I’ve heard stories of rejection and have seen the cost of that rejection from the Mormon faith. Once I decided [the Mormons] should march at the front, I never wavered once. … When I saw the size of that contingent, I started to cry. So did Lance Black.”
Black says it was a brave thing that Mormons Building Bridges did. “Seeing the Mormons march at the front of the Pride Parade was like a physical, visual and emotional manifestation of all of the work that the Mormon church and LGBT community have done over the last three years. Now, when I go all over the country talking about how it is possible and what it would look like, we have images for the first time, and it looks very loving.”
Munson hoped three things might happen at the parade: She wanted other active Mormons to see them marching in church clothes, carrying signs containing lines from scripture and hymns. “I thought they might think, ‘Maybe I can be a friend to a gay person who is not coming to church anymore,’ or, ‘Maybe I can make church a welcoming place.’ ”
Second, she wanted the gay non-Mormon community “to see that those people who come streaming out of the conference center want to say, ‘We love you, and we are not as narrow-minded as you thought.’ ”
And third, she wanted to reach out to Mormon youth, “because that is where we have the suicide rate. A lot of those kids are gay LDS kids, and they think that God doesn’t love them, and their parents think they have to kick them out of the house.”
Munson told her bishop about her plan. “I expected him to be kind of uncomfortable; he’s kind of a straitlaced guy. But he said, ‘I think this is wonderful.’” She put the idea out to friends on her e-mail list, asking if anyone wanted to march. “The response was huge. I ended up with 300.”
Mormons Building Bridges also marched in the Boise, Idaho, Pride Parade two weeks later.
“What was surprising was we were there to show love for the gay community, and we felt so much love back,” Munson says. “People are ready for this now—on both sides.”
Rattling the Temple Gates
Williams says that many were suspicious of their softer stance and efforts to interact. “I was suspicious, too, but you have to take the risk, if the potential is that we can heal this community. It’s worth taking the risk. Even though Erika [Munson] might be mocked in her ward, and I might be mocked in the gay community for acquiescing to the church, do we want to be peacemakers and create a safe society?” Williams asks. “On the path we are walking, there is going to be backpedaling and wild turns and bumps in the road. ... A horrific statement could put us back a few steps, but you do not stop moving forward. You have to keep going.”
Harsher critics included university professor and self-professed atheist Gregory A. Clark. He wrote in a guest column in City Weekly that Mormons Building Bridges offered gays only pale emotional support. “But let’s not kid ourselves in overanxious gratitude for the least bit of acceptance,” he wrote. “In reality, many of the MBB’s faithful fall right in line with the church’s positions on homosexuality, gay rights and same-sex marriage.” In other words, the position that such behavior is sinful and an abomination, meriting (in biblical times) the death penalty.
Clark particularly took issue with the MBB’s skirting of marriage equality.
But Williams says the stakes are too important not to try to work together. “When you look at [the LDS Church’s] political muscle, you know that we have to work for change; otherwise, they will just bulldoze over the rights of gay Americans—especially with young people growing up with the idea that the love in their hearts is an aberration and an abomination. They go to extreme measures of suicide, self-loathing and self-punishment. That is what we cannot tolerate. Mormons and gays have to work together to change that.”
Should the church launch another Prop 8-style political campaign against the gay community, however, Williams vows he will again protest against the church. “I will rattle those temple gates,” he says.
Meanwhile, the LDS Church, when asked to comment, declined to answer City Weekly’s questions in response to Mormons Building Bridges. Instead, LDS Church spokesman Cody Craynor referred us to links on the Mormon Newsroom site that spoke to the importance of being kind, the fact that the church supports nondiscrimination regulations in housing and employment in Salt Lake City, the importance of celibacy if one has same-sex attractions, and the Mormon ethic of civility.
Gay or not. Why should the gay community tell what Mormons should do or believe? Just except the fact that if u choose to act in a way that is not accepted by the mormon folks they may not want you o be part of their club! Get over it and move on. Or, just open your own church. Why should we change when u don't want to? Not everyone will accept the life style you decide to have. That's life, get over it. And why in the hell can't you people talk about something else for Gods sake! Don't you people have other interests besides being Gay? Most straights folks never get married anyways what's the fuss about it. Go read a book or something.
All of this ceases to be a conflict when we realize that, in reality, the gay identity is based on a fiction. As someone who experienced what some would call "same sex attraction" I am absolutely convinced that experiencing a sexual response in the presence of a same-sex stimulus does not have to result in the logical jump of infering a specific identity (self-imposing the label of "gay"). In reality, so called "gays, lesbians, etc. " are no different from everyone else. To be gay is to accept an idea, belief, or philosophy. Virtually everyone is capable of being sexually aroused in the presence of non-traditional stimuli. LGBT-identified people do not represent a discretely different type of person, and therefore, already have all the same rights every body else enjoys.
Sure, Ms. Munson claims that she "loves" gays, just as she preaches that her God loves all His children unconditionally. Then again, her loving God demanded that gays be killed (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1: 24-32); and her church promotes these same biblical passages as Mormon "basic beliefs".
"Love," as in Leviticus: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. "
And, "love," as in Romans 1, of the New Testament: "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly…Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death. "
I state unambiguously, unequivocally, that the Mormon God is wrong, not only now, but then.
Munson won't. As a faithful Mormon, she can't. She is beholden and inferior to the bigoted God she worships, who is never, ever wrong. (Even though He changes His mind a lot. )
MBM mouth-meister Kendall Wilcox took it one step further, explicitly stating that the Leviticus death command was "possibly" right, back then. Yes, you did, Kendall. Yes, you did. No matter how much you now try to deny it. But, hey, no problem: You're welcome to pop onto the CW comment boards again, and share your testimony. Deny your God. Say it loud, and say it proud: "The Mormon God was wrong, not only now, but then. "
And then there's MBM's ever-amazing, full-of-love Sister Stephanie Lauritzen, who, when it comes to Leviticus, explicitly stated, "I don't think God was wrong. "
So, yeah, Munson "loves" gays. And "God is love," and Heavenly Father "loves all His children unconditionally. " So long as "love" means demanding that your gay children be killed.
Feel the love! With love like that, who needs hate?
But there are many for whom this lovefest doesn't suffice. Count me among them.
Because, despite its declarations to love thy neighbor, MBB still faithfully supports the Church in its deliberate discrimination against gays in both employment and marriage. In Mormon practice as well as preaching, gay lovers aren't even good enough to pick up Mormon gym trash; and they certainly shouldn’t be allowed the basic human right to marry one other.
In the end, those are the basic beliefs that the Mormon Church itself practices as well as preaches, and the basic beliefs to which MBB is faithful.
Sorry, Mormons: Marriage is a civil right, not just a religious ceremony. Within broad limits, you can practice your bigotry in your church. But you can't use your ridiculous theology as grounds to deny gays a marriage license and its associated civil benefits, any more than you can use it to deny gays a driver's license, or (now-a-days, at least), deny whites and blacks the right to marry, as you did till 1963.
Religious bigotry is still bigotry. Even if you call it "love. "
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For a follow-up to my original CW guest op-ed, see "Deceptions, Devils, and Delusions: Mormons Building Bridges, 2": UtahfreethinkersDOTcom/deceptions-devils-and-delusions-mormons-building-bridges-2/ (Replace the "DOT"; CW doesn't allow live links. )
Mikee,
Are you intimating that we Mormon's are racists? If so, here is my answer -The vast majority of all anti-Mormon statements can be traced back to the early and mid 1800’s where they were fabricated by hate filled murderers, and those who love to make a lie. Thus, they persecuted the Mormons even unto death with their carefully crafted words.
Mormons have never have been, and never will be racists, and don't believe anyone who tells you differently. Here's why:
1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has never forbidden blacks from joining the Church, or forced them into separate congregations.
2. In 1833 Joseph Smith received a revelation from Jesus Christ that said "Therefore it is not right that one man should be in bondage to another. " See Doctrine and Covenants Section 101:7
3. In 1838 the Mormons were expelled from the slave state of Missouri under threat of extermination (Executive Order 44 issued by Gov. Boggs). You might ask why did Boggs issue this order? Well in this case one of the main reasons was that the anti-Mormons were complaining that the Mormons had invited “free negroes and mulattos” to join them in Missouri. That complaint sounds like those people were of the same mindset as the KKK doesn't it?
4. Then, in 1844 Joseph Smith ran for President with a plan to free all slaves by 1850. His plan was for the federal government to purchase them, and set them free. He was murdered four months later. That sounds like what happened to Martin Luther King.
5. Like so many Mormons, I also had three ancestors who died as a result of that persecution, and other family members who almost lost their lives as well. So you see, Mormons have always been the black man's friend.
6. To all of these things I would add my testimony that during my 45 years as an adult in the Church (1967 to present) I have never seen anything but brotherly love extended to our African American members and black visitors in any of the various ward congregations I have lived in. And, I have moved around a lot.
7. Furthermore, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that every man, woman, and child on this earth is literally a child of God. That means we are all brothers and sisters, and any black person who has ever met with our missionaries or attended our church services can testify to you that they were treated with brotherly Love and kindness. 8. Now, our detractors will tell you that the Church did not ordain those of black African decent to the ministry from 1830's until 1978. That is basically correct. The Lord revealed to Joseph Smith that he should refrain from doing so. Then, in June of 1978 God gave a revelation to the Prophet Spencer W. Kimball that the time had finally come when all worthy men in the Church should be given the Priesthood. So, the question arises, why did the Lord wait so long to give that revelation?
9. First, let me say that the Lord has never given his reasons for this delay. However, it is my "personal opinion" that if blacks had been called and ordained to the Priesthood, and later become leaders within the Church, then every Mormon both black and white would have been lynched or shot instead of being forced to leave the state of Missouri under threat of extermination.
Not only that, but we have sent our missionaries throughout the United States and around the globe from the very beginning of the Church to the present day. With that in mind, note that by 1860 the KKK came into existence with a vengence. Now imagine the persecution, beatings, lynching's, etc. , that they would have carried out against mixed Mormon congregations led by black priesthood holders prior to the Civil Rights movement. So you see, our not ordaining blacks of African descent prior to 1978 had absolutely nothing to do with Mormons being racists. In fact, according to my way of thinking, it was exactly the opposite.
10. The persecution of our Church and its members took on a new form when the main body of our Church membership moved beyond the reach of the rapists and the hate filled murderers of the 1800's. Since that time, we have mainly been persecuted by anti-Mormon publications which are built upon misinformation, out of context quotes and private interpretations of our doctrines by non-members, atheists, excommunicated members and former members who have left the Church after being sucked into the circle of hate.
Just read the postings in this thread and you will get an idea of what I am talking about. Notice how we Mormons are only posting to defend our faith while others attack us. That's when you will start to understand what's really going on in the media today.
11. Last of all, the detractors of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will point to past views and opinions which were expressed by leaders of our Church as to why the Lord didn't want us to ordain those of black African descent. Of course, the truth is they didn't really know, because the Lord had never revealed his reasons. The Apostle Bruce R. McConkie was present in June of 1978 when the Lord finally gave the revelation instructing the Church to ordain all worthy men to the Priesthood. The revelation was received by the Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, and confirmed by revelation to all of the Apostles at the same time by the power of the Holy Ghost. Elder McConkie of the Twelve later wrote the following:
"Forget everything that I have said, or what President Brigham Young or President George Q. Cannon or whosoever has said in days past that is contrary to the present revelation. We spoke with a limited understanding and without the light and knowledge that now has come into the world. We get our truth and our light line upon line and precept upon precept. We have now had added a new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject, and it erases all the darkness and all the views and all the thoughts of the past. They don't matter any more. It doesn't make a particle of difference what anybody ever said about the Negro matter before the first day of June 1978. It is a new day and a new arrangement, and the Lord has now given the revelation that sheds light out into the world on this subject. As to any slivers of light or any particles of darkness of the past, we forget about them. We now do what meridian Israel did when the Lord said the gospel should go to the gentiles. We forget all the statements that limited the gospel to the house of Israel, and we start going to the gentiles. "
In other words, the gospel was at one time only preached to the Jews. Then, after the crucifixion of Christ, the time came when Peter received the revelation that it was time for it to be preached to the gentiles. That's the way it was with us. At first we were instructed not to ordain those of Black African descent, but on the first day of June 1978 the Lord said the time for doing so had arrived. That revelation was received 34 years ago, and we have been ordaining all worthy male members to the Priesthood ever since.
" Oaks was asked if parents should allow children to bring their black partners home for the holidays. “I can imagine that in most circumstances the parents would say, ‘Please don’t do that. Don’t put us into that position,’ ” Oaks said. “Surely if there are children in the home who would be influenced by this example, the answer would likely be that. ”
Oaks went on to say, “I can also imagine some circumstances in which it might be possible to say, ‘Yes, come, but don’t expect to stay overnight. Don’t expect to be a lengthy houseguest. Don’t expect us to take you out and introduce you to our friends, or to deal with you in a public situation that would imply our approval of your ‘partnership. ’ ”
Fixed that for ya, Oaks.