Thursday, Nov. 19 (Lifetime)
Season Finale: Dullest season ever? Predictable reaction from the Television Critics Intelligentsia, a collection of whiners with their heads so far up their collective ass it’s a miracle they can find the remote: Nothing exciting ever happens on Lifetime. If anything, Project Runway’s first season away from Bravo has been more about the stitch-to-stitch craft of fashion design than screaming queens with more look-at-me! issues than practical ideas. Sure, finalists Althea, Irina and Carol Hannah don’t inspire Big Drama (aside from the occasional bitchy “You stole that ruffle from me” glance), but Project Runway is really all about Tim Gunn, who says more with a single cocked eyebrow than host Heidi Klum babbles all season (seriously, I have no idea what der fick she’s saying). True TV’s projected winner: Irina—she’s just evil enough.
Models of the Runway
Thursday, Nov. 19 (Lifetime)
Season Finale: No model-centric show can measure up to the crazy bar set by Tyra Banks and the loony shorties of the current America’s Next Top Model cycle; Models of the Runway (following, natch, the weekly-winnowed group of models featured on Project Runway) doesn’t even try. The final three paired with the above-mentioned designers—Tanisha, Kayln and Lisa—have barely enough collective personality to carry a half-hour, but they’re still oddly endearing. But, since the winner here is determined by Project Runway’s winner (Kayln is Irina’s model, so there ya go), who cares? They lost me when they ejected Matar, anyway … I know far too much about this show.
The Wanda Sykes Show
New Late-Night Series: Fox fired Spike Feresten for this? As Curb Your Enthusiasm and The New Adventures of Old Christine have taught us, a little Wanda Sykes goes a looong way—giving her a weekly hour to fill makes even less sense than giving George Lopez four. Unlike Lopez, Sykes can deliver a funny monologue; after that, her show just devolves into an under-rehearsed mash-up of The Daily Show, Real Time With Bill Maher and Showtime at the Apollo. Saturday Night Live may be on the skids (Didya catch Mad Men’s January Jones hosting? Apparently, Betty Draper is not an act), but The Wanda Sykes Show is no alternative for Saturday laughs. Try Legend of the Seeker.
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Sunday, Nov. 22 (HBO)
Season Finale: It’s time for the Seinfeld reunion show that’s not really a reunion, but technically is a reunion—follow? The entire seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm has been based on Larry David’s deal with the devil (well, NBC) to produce a Seinfeld special, which really just an excuse to land his ex Cheryl a role on the show so he can woo her back. Naturally, the ploy doesn’t work in Larry’s favor, but the comic payoff after a few still-hysterical episodes gone astray from the Seinfeld storyline (Swanicide? Stolen pants?) is worth the trip. Between Curb and Californication on Showtime, Sunday is the most gloriously un-P.C. night on television.
Jon & Kate Plus 8
Monday, Nov. 23 (TLC)
Series Finale: Or maybe it’s Monday. Remember when TLC stood for The Learning Channel, not Torturing Little Children? Jon and Kate Gosselin may not be the most reprehensible idiots on the planet (not as long as we have Carrie Prejean, Wendy Williams and anyone connected to The Hills), but it’s a relief to have this national nightmare finally come to an end … unless the rumors are true that Jon & Kate Plus 8 will resurface as simply Kate Plus 8. Courage.