Eight valuable “green” lessons learned from Earth Day/Week 2009:
8. Working from home saves on gasoline; not on Cheetos and Internet porn.
7. Printing 1,000 memos to remind office staff to use only electronic files is counterproductive.
6. Composting and dead-body disposal need not be mutually exclusive.
5. Related: Hippies are a renewable resource.
4. Riding a bike to work is problematic for strippers and hair-metal tribute bands.
3. An Inconvenient Truth does not synch up with Dark Side of the Moon.
2. Wind-powered tanning beds and solar-powered hair dryers should really be re-thought.
1. SLC Mayor Ralph Becker won’t shower with you to save water, no matter how persistently you ask.