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Home / Articles / · Archive / Film & TV /  True TV | Nein!: 99 things I don?t want to see on TV in 2009.
Film & TV

True TV | Nein!: 99 things I don?t want to see on TV in 2009.

By Bill Frost
Posted // January 7,2009 -
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Former child stars in crisis

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Current child stars in crisis

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Best Week Ever, new format

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Best Week Ever, old format

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Any members of Poison

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Any of Poison’s members

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Anything … of Love

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Prank shows

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Skank shows

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Kardashians

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Hogans

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Osbournes

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Jon & Kate

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Their Plus 8

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Fat people

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Skinny people

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Anyplace … Ink

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Real Housewives of … anywhere

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The Real World: anywhere

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Top … anything

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Bachelors

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Bachelorettes

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Sassy cougars

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Brassy cougars

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Shirtless meatheads

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Meatless entrees

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Frank Caliendo

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Seriously—Frank Caliendo

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ABC Family

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TMZ

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The CW

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The ShamWow

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The Iron Gym

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Dominos via TiVo

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Morally ambiguous cops

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Morally ambiguous lawyers

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Morally ambiguous doctors

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Morally ambiguous hair stylists

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The Cleaner

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Clean bikers

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Dirty Jobs

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Any dancing whatsoever

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The Soup rip-offs

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The Soup spin-offs

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British judges

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Crazy judges

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Guest judges

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Judge anything

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“Just You Watch the Best”

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Studio 5

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“Let Bill Buy It”

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The Hive

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Time-Life music collections

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Lifetime movies

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Anime

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Animal Planet

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Jay Leno (at any time)

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Showtime without nudity

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HBO without nudity

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BBC America with nudity

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Sandra Bullock movies

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Kate Hudson movies

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The ______ Awards

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Numbered list shows

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Listed number shows

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Clean House

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House marathons

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Poker as a sport

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Soccer as a sport

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The end of Battlestar Galactica

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The continuation of Sanctuary

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Stargate: anything

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The Hills

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Any derivation of The Hills

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Audrina’s Patridge’s horse teeth

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Lauren Conrad’s un-severed head

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Utahns on reality TV

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Utahns on reality TV on “the news”

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Dr. Phil

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Dr. 90210

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The Doctors

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Kath

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Kim

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Gay assistants

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Straight designers

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Tyler Perry’s anything

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Knight Rider

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Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

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Game shows in primetime

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The Game Show Network

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American Gladiators

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America’s Got Talent

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Sean Hannity’s America

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Fox News Channel

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Fox Reality Channel

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Matthew Fox

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Diddy

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Fiddy

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Paige fucking Davis

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DVD

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/Balls Out
n A psychotic high school janitor (Seann William Scott) inexplicably steps up as the tennis coach to a rag-tag group of underdogs inexplicably on their way to the state finals. Will his unorthodox ways lead them to inexplicable victory? Duh! (Sony.com)
/Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video
n Late SNL writer Michael O’Donoghue’s twisted 1979 TV special rejected by NBC, finally on DVD! With the bonuses “Mr. Mike’s Least-Loved Bedtime Tales,” “The Enchanted Thermos” and “The Little Train That Died”! (ShoutFactory.com)
/My Best Friend’s Girl
n Big-nosed boy (Jason Biggs) is rejected by flat-chested girl (Kate Hudson), so he brings in his obnoxious buddy (Dane Cook) to piss her off and drive her back. Naturally, obnoxious buddy falls for flat-chested girl. Duh! (Lionsgate.com)
/Saxondale: Seasons 1 & 2
n Rock & roll roadie-turned-bug-killer Tommy Saxondale (Steve Coogan) kicks against the pricks in the British suburbs in the hysterical BBC series, frequenting hookers and beating up hippies. An inspiration for us all. (BBCAmerica.com)
/Wannabe Rocker
n Not to be confused with Rainn Wilson’s The Rocker: A struggling female rock singer tries to attract record-company attention by throwing a fake party for Cher … So, this isn’t a porno? Really? Never mind … (MaverickEntertainment.cc)
nMore New DVD Releases (Jan. 13)
nAppaloosa, Blackout, Choose Connor, Contract Killers, Dallas: Season 10, Hit & Run, Humboldt County, The Marriage Counselor, Mirrors, On the Road With Judas, Reba: Season 5, Shut Up & Shoot, Swing Vote, ‘Til Death: Season 2, Tokyo Gore Police

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Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96’s Radio From Hell. Hippie beatings at BillFrost.tv.

 
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REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // January 8,2009 at 05:14 You seemed to have overlooked Rachel Ray. Yum-O!

 

 
 
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