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Home / Articles / Archive / TV & Games /  Videorama
TV & Games

Videorama

New releases on home video and DVD for February.

By Bill Frost
Posted // June 11,2007 -

Digimon: The Movie (PG, Fox, 82 min.) Not to be confused with Digimon: The Broadway Musical. The good Digimons and their unblinking kiddie pals must stop a bad Digimon loose on the Internet bent on destroying worldwide communications! Soon, he’ll have everyone signed up to America Online! Nooo! (Feb. 6)

Dr. T and the Women (R, Artisan, 121 min.) Richard Gere stars as a Dallas gynecologist who’s up to his elbows in a wacky Robert Altman ensemble comedy. His wife (Farrah Fawcett) has a nervous breakdown, he falls for a golf pro (Helen Hunt), his soon-to-be-wed daughter (Kate Hudson) is secretly getting it on with her bridesmaid (Liv Tyler) and … Sorry, can’t concentrate now; going to need a minute. (Feb. 6)

Urban Legends: The Final Cut (R, Columbia TriStar, 100 min.) More annoying, good-looking university students are getting killed in a movie-within-a-movie about urban legends. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the scariest legend, “There’s good money in journalism,” never crops up. (Feb. 6)

Whipped (R, Destination, 85 min.) Three women-scamming buddies begin to question their lecherous ways when they all go gaga over “the perfect woman” (Amanda Peet). Sorry, but the “perfect woman” is most certainly not Amanda Peet, but … (Feb. 6)

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (PG, Universal, 86 min.) … Janeane Garofalo, who somehow wound up in this crapfest as an evil Hollywood exec with Fearless Leader (Robert DeNiro), Boris (Jason Alexander) and the ever-hot Natasha (Rene Russo) on the verge of taking over the planet. An FBI agent (Piper Perabo—yes, from the equally career-killing Coyote Ugly) puts Rocky & Bullwinkle to work to stop them. Surprisingly, the geniuses at PETA never staked out theaters to protest the exploitation of moose and squirrel. (Feb. 13)

Bless the Child (R, Paramount, 107 min.) Kim Basinger is a lapsed Catholic raising the abandoned daughter of her heroin-addict sister, who’s on the road with Hole. Surprise: The kid has Special Supernatural Powers, like being able to heal birds, stare down bad guys and tell Baldwin brothers apart. (Feb. 13)

Bring It On (PG-13, Universal, 99 min.) As if Kirsten Dunst in a sassy cheerleader outfit wasn’t enough, Bring It On is actually one cool and twistedly funny flick. Dunst and Eliza Dushku (she who laid the smackdown on Buffy the Vampire Slayer) must whip their high school cheerleading squad into shape for national competition, but it seems their dance routine was lifted from the bad-ass pompom girls at East Compton, and now they’re out for payback. Killer moves, sarcastic lines and Dunst in a sassy cheerleader outfit ensue. (Feb. 13)

Get Carter (R, Warner Bros., 102 min.) Remake of the 1971 cult classic, this time starring Sylvester Stallone instead of Michael Caine, who shows up anyway. Jack Carter (Stallone) is out to avenge his brother’s death, but doesn’t like what he learns from old rival and suspect Mickey Rourke. Hey, does anyone ever like what they learn from Mickey Rourke? Blecch. (Feb. 13)

Woman on Top (R, Fox Searchlight, 91 min.) Unbelievably gorgeous Isabella (unbelievably gorgeous Penelope Cruz) suffers from severe motion sickness, even to the point that she can only have sex—you got it—on top. Her husband (Murilo Benicio), otherwise known as The Biggest Moron in the Universe, refuses to make this “sacrifice,” has an affair and breaks her heart. Naturally, she moves to San Francisco, rooms with a large transvestite and gets her own TV cooking show. Oddly enough, this is exactly how the Iron Chef got started. (Feb. 13)

Beautiful (PG-13, Destination, 112 min.) Was this ever in theaters? Minnie Driver stars as the oldest beauty pageant contestant ever, hiding the fact that she has a daughter—even worse, it’s that irritating Pepsi girl! (Feb. 20)

Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (R, Artisan, 90 min.) Proving that ,“Yes we can make a worse movie than the original,” Artisan blows much of their Blair Witch Project cash on a slick sequel with a half-baked idea and very bad actors. Any similarities to Star Wars: Episode One are purely coincidental. (Feb. 20)

Highlander: Endgame (R, Dimension, 88 min.) There can be only one, but this is the fourth Highlander movie—and there are two Highlanders in it! Paying no heed to the previous installments or comprehendible scripting, MacLeods old (Christopher Lambert, looking pretty creaky for an “immortal”) and less-old (Adrian Paul, the TV Highlander) join forces to avenge, er, something, and lop off heads. (Feb. 20)

The Watcher (R, Universal, 97 min.) A druggie FBI agent (James Spader) is out for revenge against a serial killer (Keanu Reeves) who got away years ago … ferchrissakes, is everyone out for revenge this month? Did director Joe Charbanic get this job because he once directed a video for Keanu’s band, Dogstar? And wasn’t The Watcher a lame UPN series starring Sir Mix-a-Lot in ’95? And what happened to Marisa Tomei’s (the film’s obligatory helpless female victim) career, anyway? So many questions. (Feb. 20)

Bedazzled (PG-13, Fox, 93 min.) In a move that no hetero man with a pulse—except maybe that geek from Woman on Top—would question, Brendan Fraser sells his soul to hotter-than-hell Elizabeth Hurley, who just happens to be the Devil. What’s he get in return? The Mummy 2, not Dudley Do-Right 2. (Feb. 27)

Lost Souls (R, New Line, 97 min.) In other Satan-related news, Winona Ryder takes a seat next to Marisa Tomei on the career bus to hell in yet another the-Devil’s-comin’-to-town “thriller,” in case you missed Stigmata, End of Days, Bless the Child and Hillary Clinton’s senatorial inauguration. (Feb. 27)

The Original Kings of Comedy (R, Paramount, 117 min.) If Steve Harvey and D.L. Hugley are so damn funny—and they are in this concert movie, along with Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac—why do their TV sitcoms suck? In keeping with this month’s theme, vengeance upon The WB and UPN is in order. (Feb. 27)

 
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