Eight potential discoveries in A.G. John Swallow’s mysteriously missing computer files and e-mails:
8. An Excel spreadsheet with the phrase “Mommy!” repeated 5,000 times.
7. Evidence of criminal wrongdoing.
6. Extensive Yahoo! search histories on the phrase “I am not a crook.”
5. Documentation of illegal activities.
4. Several drafts of autobiographical musical The Wackiest A.G. in the West.
3. Data confirming unlawful conduct.
2. Medical records verifying that prison would, in fact, be unhealthy for Swallow.
1. Platform for sure-to-be successful Utah Senate run in 2016.