Eight premium perks that come with new Utah Transit Authority rate hikes:
8. Choice of TRAX train scents: Senior Citizen, Hobo Urine or Potpourri.
7. A copy of the real bus schedule, which simply says “We get there when we get there.”
6. Riders who talk loudly to themselves will be paired up to give the appearance of conversation.
5. Complimentary, slightly-mangled copies of last week’s City Weekly—with most of the pages.
4. An extra 30-45 commute minutes to savor the fantasy of murdering your boss today.
3. More intimate physical contact than you’ve had all month. You’re welcome.
2. No more FrontRunner service to Provo. You’re welcome.
1. Lavish, Cribs-style video tours of UTA execs’ mansions on select routes.
More by Bill Frost
-
True TV April 2024: Hidden gems on Tubi
Seven series worth a stream on the free-but-doesn't-suck service
- Apr 3, 2024
-
Flashback 2020: Lockdown TV
The shows we were all watching when we were stuck at home.
- Mar 6, 2024
-
Fox News is bad, but Utah's syndicated talk radio is even worse.
Radio Blah Blah
- Mar 6, 2024
- More »
Latest in The Ocho
