citylog
The E-
Edition:
CW
page
by page

Tumblr.jpg Google_Plus.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Home / Articles / Opinion / The Ocho /  UTA Perk$
The Ocho

UTA Perk$

8 perks that come with new UTA rate hikes

By Bill Frost
Posted // April 3,2013 -

Eight premium perks that come with new Utah Transit Authority rate hikes:

8. Choice of TRAX train scents: Senior Citizen, Hobo Urine or Potpourri.

7. A copy of the real bus schedule, which simply says “We get there when we get there.”

6. Riders who talk loudly to themselves will be paired up to give the appearance of conversation.

5. Complimentary, slightly-mangled copies of last week’s City Weekly—with most of the pages.

4. An extra 30-45 commute minutes to savor the fantasy of murdering your boss today.

3. More intimate physical contact than you’ve had all month. You’re welcome.

2. No more FrontRunner service to Provo. You’re welcome.

1. Lavish, Cribs-style video tours of UTA execs’ mansions on select routes.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Post a comment
REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // April 19,2013 at 20:05

As a lightrail operator, this is the funniest thing I have read for a long time.

 

Remember, if your thinking it so are we.  We just do what the Pimp tells us.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // April 12,2013 at 10:14

As true as all that was said is, I would of added the fact that the UTA Executive Team does not ride the bus and drives around in expensive cars.   How can you manage something you refuse to use?!?!?!

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // April 3,2013 at 11:18

What's a Provo?

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // April 3,2013 at 10:39

#2 - Ahhhh. That hit the spot.  

 

 
 
Close
Close
Close