Eight better acts for the Super Bowl 46 halftime show than Madonna:
8. Anyone but Madonna. Damn, still have seven spots to fill …
7. A Fear Factor Republican debate hosted by Joe Rogan and Spunky the Mule.
6. The Small Four: An All-Midget Tribute to Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax & Slayer.
5. The losers of the Puppy Bowl being fed to the winners of the Piranha Bowl.
4. Skrillex performing a 25-minute dubstep remix of “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”
3. A rerun of Whitney on the JumboTron.
2. Nickelback and Lana Del Rey singing the hits of the Black Eyed Peas.
1. An extra half-hour of those commercials you’ll be yakking about all week, anyway.