Eight company Christmas-bonus options you’ll be choosing from this holiday season:
8. A mix CD of your immediate supervisor’s favorite holiday and/or religious music.
7. That software upgrade you’ve been whining about—welcome to Windows 2000!
6. Five uninterrupted minutes to rummage through the Lost & Found box.
5. “Seven Minutes in Heaven” with the company’s sluttiest employee (TBD by HR).
4. Five-percent off company-logo items from our exciting new eBay store.
3. The reinstatement of “Day-Drunk Fridays” for the month of December.
2. A paperback copy of the bestseller Laid-Off & Laid-Back: Your New Life Outside the Workforce.
1. A honey-baked ham … sandwich.