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Home / Articles / Opinion / The Ocho /  Santa vs. Jesus
The Ocho

Santa vs. Jesus

Eight important differences between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.

By Bill Frost
Posted // December 20,2010 - Eight important differences between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ:

8. Santa has a belly like a bowlful of jelly. Jesus won’t be found in your chimney dead of adult-onset diabetes.

7.
Santa knows when you’re sleeping. Jesus knows what you’re doing with that gym sock under the covers.

6. Santa has a list of names he checks twice. Jesus has the names memorized—and backed up on a cloud.

5. Santa’s helpers make toys for children. Jesus’ helpers make it difficult to get into Planned Parenthood clinics.

4. Santa says, “You’d better not cry.” Jesus has a far more enlightened view of emotional displays.

3. Santa will let you sit on his lap at the mall. Jesus will consider sharing a cart with you at Whole Foods.

2. Santa puts presents under the tree. Jesus has an aversion to tall wooden objects.

1. Dressing up as Santa is fun and festive. Dressing up as Jesus usually ends in a standoff with the Feds.

Bill Frost
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REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // December 20,2010 at 23:36


The types of free samples you can get from "123 Get Samples" are shampoo, coffee, diapers, medicine, greeting cards and more.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // December 20,2010 at 12:31

This is deeper than we know. Well we know, but we can't talk about it with 40% of the population that still beleives that an old, white man pointed his finger for 6 days and we have cavemen riding dinosaurs to church. Carbon dating is such an inconvenient truth!

So, we all know Santa is b.s. but we celebrate him anyway. Anyone else see the comparision?

 

bob
Posted // January 1,2011 at 06:49 - Santa is NOT BS when it comes to retail sales.

 

 
 
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