Posted // January 16,2008 -
I have been dating my girlfriend for six months and we are passionate about each other, making love at least twice a day. We’re very much in love. My girlfriend’s best friend is a gay male whom she dated in high school before he came out. I asked my girlfriend about taking a vacation together this year and she told me that she can’t because she’s going to Italy for two weeks with her gay ex. Is this screwed up or am I freaking out about nothing? I mean, she is going away for two weeks with her ex-boyfriend who now just happens to be gay?! —Jealously Justified
At six months, JJ, you don’t have the seniority to make demands on your girlfriend where travel companions are concerned. And he’s GAY, you idiot. They dated in HIGH SCHOOL. He is, for all intents and purposes, her GIRLFRIEND now—he probably always was. Seeing as he’s just a friend, JJ, why shouldn’t she travel with him? What are you afraid of? That he’s going to streak her hair over there?
If you can’t be chill about this, you’re going to sabotage this relationship. You haven’t been dating that long, so she either made these plans before you met or before you two became serious. At a year and six months—maybe—you would have a right to be aggrieved if she was running off for two weeks with a friend, preventing you two from getting away together. But at this point, any bitching from you is going to raise red flags. If you’re smart—and the jury’s out—you’ll say, “Gee, I wish I was going with you—I can’t wait until we can travel together and fuck our way across Europe.” And, if you must, you can add, “I know it’s COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL, but I’m feeling a little jealous and threatened. Tell me again how COMPLETELY and THOROUGHLY and SCREAMINGLY gay your ex is, please.” Say that with a smile so she’ll laugh, then you fake a laugh, and then take them BOTH out to dinner, give them a travel guide, and tell ’em you hope they have fun over there.
And who knows? If you play your cards right, JJ, you might get invited along. But if you act like a jealous, irrational douchebag, you’re definitely going to get your ass dumped.
Readers respond to my advice for LIMP—the guy who can’t stop stressing over the size of his dick—at TheStranger.com/savage/limp.
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