Dear Readers: In honor of April Fools’ Day, I turn this column over to Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project movement.
Dear Mexican: I’m a white, college-educated, liberal, Democrat, socialist U.S. citizen. I don’t have any problem with Mexicans coming here to get a good job. In fact, I don’t see the “problem.” From your perspective, why are Republicans and rednecks so into building that big fence on the border? I guess what I mean is: If there are so many “illegal” Mexican immigrants in the United States, what’s stopping them from becoming “legal”? Is it really a question of attaining citizenship, or is it just plain ol’ ignorant racism? —Taco Lover in Houston
Jim’s Response: Immigrants are not a problem, as long as their presence here is legal and within the realm of a responsible immigration policy. Immigration should be of a prescribed number of persons with vocational skills needed to continue the United States as an economic powerhouse with a healthy middle class. An immigrant’s integrity and moral character are also necessary to continue our nation as a civilized nation governed by the rules of law. In light of the irresponsible attitudes of many of our political governors regarding national security and enforcing U.S. immigration laws, a towering border fence is an appealing solution. If our bureaucrats doubled the funding of the Border Patrol and ICE, there would be little need for an international fence except in the most remote areas. To grant citizenship or legal status to illegal aliens would mean we are no longer a nation of laws, but a nation governed by mob rule—something anathema to a civilized society. Sadly, there is an element of racial supremacy feeding some immigration-law-enforcement advocacy groups that, in my opinion, hide behind the mantra of “immigration law enforcement” to veil sinister agendas of fascism and or racism.
Dear Mexican: I traveled to Juarez to see the Real Mexico and, boy, was I disappointed. Not a single man in white pajamas with his donkey leaning against a cactus. No women with a basket of fruit on their head. To show how I loved their culture, I mentioned Speedy Gonzales and the Frito Bandito, but people looked at me funny. No one accosted me on the street with, “Hey Meestair: for $10 you can f—k my mother—she’s a virgin.” Where do I go for a taste of the Real Mexico? —Titillated Tourist
Jim’s Response: There are no men in white pajamas leaning against a cactus or women carrying fruit baskets in Juarez because most of them are dead—shot to death in drug cartel battles, abducted and held for ransom, or exploited as sex slaves (then murdered anyway) by criminal cartels. That is the Mexico that is so prominent in the news today.
My advice to you, young man, is to stay out of Mexico until Presidente Calderon completes his mission of exterminating the criminal cartels that have plundered Mexico, its people, and its infrastructure for the past 50 years. Because criminal cartels operate transnationally, it is paramount that the United States and Mexican law enforcement and military forces work jointly to eradicate the criminal menaces that have severely harmed both countries.
Ask the Mexican at firstname.lastname@example.org, myspace.com/ocwab, facebook.com/garellano, youtube.com/askamexicano, find him on, Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433!