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Home / Articles / Opinion / News Quirks /  Be All That You Can Be
News Quirks

Be All That You Can Be

By Roland Sweet
Posted // June 17,2009 -

Curses, Foiled Again
After robbing a bank in Cornwall Bridge, Conn., Jason Durant, 32, tumbled down a steep embankment behind the bank, crashing into a snowplow blade at the bottom and breaking his leg in several places. The Waterbury Republican-American reported he also lost his gun and the stolen money, leaving him with only $2. He managed to reach his getaway car and drove to the hospital, where the medical staff, having been given a description of the robber and his likely injuries, called the police.

• Despite a robber’s attempt to conceal his identity with sunglasses and a hooded jacket, a teller at a bank in Fort Worth, Texas, had no trouble recognizing Larry D. Cumby, 25. “He works at another business in that area, so he had been in there before, and they knew him by name,” police Sgt. David Yerigan told the Star-Telegram after Cumby’s arrest.

When Guns Are Outlawed
Police in Boulder, Colo., said a restaurant employee was washing the restaurant’s windows when a man walked upon behind him holding a knife and demanded money. The employee brandished a squeegee, and the would-be robber fled.

• Amanda Watkins, 26, told police in Greeley, Colo., that when she told a 3-year-old boy to stop hurting a cat, the boy’s mother attacked and beat her with a child’s metal scooter, then fled.

Felonious Congratulations
El Paso, Texas, schools superintendent Lorenzo Garcia was celebrating the schools’ performance on state test scores by giving principals high-fives. When Barron Elementary School principal Mary Helen Lechuga didn’t raise her hand, Garcia tapped her on the head instead. The El Paso Times reported that Lechuga responded by filing a police complaint that Garcia assaulted her, saying she felt pain and feared what he might do next.

Real Life Not Always Like the Commercials
While more than 100 people on foot and in the air searched for a missing 62-year-old man in Carroll County, Ohio, Sheriff Dale Williams said he tried to use the man’s cell phone signal to locate him. He told the Carrollton Times-Reporter that when he called Verizon to activate the signal, the operator refused because the missing man’s bill was overdue and said that the sheriff’s department would have to pay at least $20 of the unpaid bill. After some disagreement, Williams agreed to pay. As he was making arrangements, however, deputies discovered the man, unconscious and unresponsive, in an area where there is a Verizon cell-phone tower.

Be All That You Can Be
Iraqi veterans of the U.S. invasion of their country are taking advantage of their bomb-making skills to get back at anyone who blocks their path to true love. Spurned suitors have set off six small bombs in the Dora neighborhood of Baghdad in the past year, according to The New York Times, which reported that many former insurgents have experience making improvised explosive devices (IEDs) and a stash of TNT. “These guys, they face any problem with their girlfriends, family, anyone, and they’re making this kind of IED,” said Capt. Nabil Abdul Hussein of the Iraqi national police, adding that the so-called “love IEDs” so far have caused no reported deaths or injuries. “Usually they’re putting them in front of the doors of their houses, not to kill, but to scare them.” In one case, police said a Shiite man, who wanted to marry the daughter of his family’s Sunni neighbor but was rejected, planted a bomb in front of his own house and accused the neighbors of being Sunni terrorists, No arrests were made, and the bomb turned out to be a dud. Then the man planted a second bomb, which exploded and damaged both houses. The Shiite family was forced to flee after receiving death threats, but as they left, they sprayed the Sunni family’s house with automatic-weapons fire.

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Submit items, citing date and source, to P.O. Box 8130, Alexandria VA 22306.

 
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