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Home / Articles / Opinion / News Quirks /  Slightest Provocation
News Quirks

Slightest Provocation

By Roland Sweet
Posted // October 8,2012 -

Curses, Foiled Again
A gunman tried to rob a bank in Decatur, Ga., only to be thwarted by a security guard, who shot the robber in the knee. DeKalb County police Lt. Pam Kunz said the suspect’s gun turned out to be a plastic toy. (Associated Press)

• When two men, one of them armed, accosted a man on the front porch of his Atlanta home and ordered him to open the door, the resident told them he had money in his pocket. The robber with the gun placed it on the ground so he could search the victim’s pocket, whereupon the victim grabbed the gun and shot the robber at least twice, including once in the head. The gunman and his accomplice fled. (Atlanta’s WSB-TV)

Two men who kicked in the back door of a home in Marlboro County, S.C., were met by 89-year-old Ruby Hodge holding her .38-caliber pistol. “When they saw me standing in there with my pistol, they left and run,” she said, adding that she pressed the lifeline button hanging around her neck to summon sheriff’s deputies. After getting the license plate number of the getaway car from an eyewitness, deputies arrested Nelson Hawkins, 42, and Ronnie Stevenson, 31. (Florence’s WPDE-TV)

Upon his release from jail, Richard Blome, 27, stole a golf cart and drove it 10 miles from Clayton, Mo., to his home in Lemay. He traveled primarily on side roads to avoid detection, then parked it on his front lawn. Someone saw the cart with city of Clayton name on it and called Clayton police. “At that point, it had not been reported stolen,” Capt. Kevin Murphy said, pointing out, “Instead of just calling someone for a ride home, he ended up riding himself into a class C felony.” (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Sex Is Its own Punishment
David and Mindi Rice, both 29, spent the evening at their home in Pasco County, Fla., injecting themselves with prescription drugs and having sex with a 24-year-old woman, according to sheriff’s deputies. They all fell asleep. When Mindi Rice awoke during the night, she found her husband having sex with their friend, but without her. She grabbed a loaded revolver, threatened to kill the woman and fired a round into the ceiling. David Rice grabbed the gun and threatened to kill his wife, firing a bullet that missed her head. Meanwhile, the younger woman called 911 and fled. When deputies arrived, the Rices refused to come outside, so a SWAT team was assembled. After a two-hour standoff, the couple came outside, but the husband fought with deputies who shocked him with a Taser and ran back inside. Negotiators finally talked him into surrendering. In addition to filing multiple charges, deputies found that Mindi Rice was on probation for stealing a credit card in 2011 so she could use it to bail her husband out of jail. (Tampa Bay Times)

How to Succeed in Business
Even though Somali piracy is lessening, the pirates are becoming more businesslike in their approach. They now have packets of paperwork with their own letterhead. An example, written in memo form and stamped with a skull and crossbones logo, was addressed to the owner of one seized ship. It begins: “… welcome to Jamal’s Pirate Action Group (J.P.A.G.) and you have to follow by our law to return back your vessel and crew safely.” It sums up: “Do not imagine that we are making to you intimidation,” and concludes “Best regards,” followed by the signature of Jamal Faahiye, the General Commander of the Group.

An expert in ransom negotiations said it makes sense for Jamal and his colleagues to appear well-organized. “They want to get their money,” Derek S.T. Baldwin of IBIS International said. “If they present themselves and behave as someone who will live up to their commitment to give us the package in good condition, we are much more likely to go ahead and pay the ransom easily and efficiently. If they present themselves as a non-structured group of disorganized loons, they stand an awful better chance of having an extraction team show up on their front porch and shoot them.” (Reuters)

Green Death
A Scottish company has installed two of its flameless cremation machines in Florida and Minnesota, and eight more states have passed legislation allowing their use. The Resomation machines dissolve the deceased in an alkaline solution, which is heated under pressure, reducing the body to skeletal remains in the form of a white powder that can be given to the family. Resomation Ltd., a Glasgow-based subsidiary of Co-operative Funeralcare claims the process produces a third less greenhouse gas than cremation, uses a seventh of the energy and allows for the complete separation of mercury-based dental amalgam for safe disposal. (BBC News)

Way to Go
Hoping to provoke a Bigfoot sighting by dressing up in a costume and standing alongside a highway outside Kalispell, Montana, Randy Lee Tenley, 44, died after a car hit him, knocking him into the middle of the road, where a second car ran over him. The drivers were two girls, ages 15 and 17. Noting that Tenley’s costume was a military-style “Ghillie suit,” consisting of strips of camouflage fabric, Montana Highway Patrol Trooper Jim Schneider observed, “He probably would not have been very easy to see at all.” (Associated Press)

Where There’s a Will
A worker in a wheelchair at a Rona big-box home and garden store in Barrie, Ontario, wanted to get to a training session on a nonwheelchair-accessible second level, so he brought a portable ramp to work and enlisted the help of his colleagues. Kai Malmstrom used the ramp to wheel himself onto a skid. Workers strapped his wheelchair to the skid, and supervisor Gord Stirk used a forklift to lift Malmstrom high enough to reach the second level. After the training session, the process was reversed. A worker who witnessed the incident complained to management, which disciplined several workers, and fired Stirk and assistant store manager Kerry Barton. Barton filed a wrongful dismissal suit, arguing he wasn’t present and did not consent to the incident. Ontario Superior Court Justice Peter Lauwers awarded him $59,000. (Canada’s National Post)

Slightest Provocation
A woman drove to the police station in La Crosse, Wis., and told an officer she wanted to drop off her husband because he was “talking stupidly” and swearing. The husband, Johnnie Bolds, 53, had two outstanding warrants and was arrested. (La Crosse Tribune)

 
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