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Home / Articles / Opinion / News Quirks /  Nuts to Charity
News Quirks

Nuts to Charity

By Roland Sweet
Posted // July 9,2010 - Curses, Foiled Again
When Thomas Peno, 50, appeared at a courthouse in Vernon, Conn., to answer a larceny charge, he broke into several cars in front of the building, according to police, who arrested him after he tried to sell a GPS unit stolen from one of the vehicles to a man who turned out to be the vehicle’s owner. (
The Hartford Courant
)

Authorities in Snohomish County, Wash., charged Carlton Wopperer, 49, with insurance fraud after he claimed car thieves stole his collection of silk neckties, worth $33,000. His claim raised suspicion because it was the third time in nine years he reported his collection of 212 silk neckties had been stolen from his vehicle. Insurance investigators discovered that Wopperer had bought the ties but returned many of them within minutes of buying them and kept the receipts to back up his theft claims. (Seattle Times)

Nuts to Charity
When Joe Cooper, 24, agreed to undergo a bikini waxing at a charity fundraising event in Leicester, England, onlookers bid to pull off the strips. One strip stuck to his scrotum, and an over-energetic tug by one bidder tore off several layers of skin, causing Cooper to nearly lose a testicle. He was taken to the hospital, where, “They told me if any more skin had come off, that would have been it,” he said, adding, “I’d never do it again.” (Associated Press)

Second-Amendment Follies
Zachary A. Bowers, 22, fatally shot his father after the older man dared him to shoot, according to prosecutors in Jackson County, Mo. “Dad threw the gun in my hand and told me to pull the trigger,” Bowers told a police dispatcher. “I pulled the trigger and shot him.” (
The Kansas City Star
)

Kathy Myers, 41, shot herself at her home in Niles, Mich., because she needed medical treatment for a month-old shoulder injury but was out of work and had no health insurance. She said medical personnel told her the injury “would have to be life-threatening or imminent danger for them to do anything, so I was making it be imminent danger that something had to be done.” The gunshot barely wounded her, however, and she was released from the hospital a few hours later. “I really didn’t accomplish what I hoped it would accomplish,” Myers said. “I was really hoping it would hit an artery or bone so they would do the surgery and fix me.” (South Bend, Indiana’s WSBT-TV News)

End Results
A Houston inventor whose medical device found a bigger market as a sex toy filed suit against a British company, claiming its cheap knockoff infringes on his patent and might be dangerous because it isn’t as carefully crafted as his original. Jiro Takashima developed the Pro-State prostate massager, which works with muscle contractions instead of electricity to relieve fluid congestion. His company, High Island Health, sells the Pro-State device for $78.50. When men praised it for also improving their orgasms, the company began marketing a version as Aneros, which sells for $49.95. “Our business took a major detour when men started using our prostate massager for recreational purposes,” said Amy Sung, High Island Health’s executive director and Takashima’s daughter. Sung said that another of her father’s medical inventions, a hemorrhoid massager, also enjoys brisk sales as a sex toy. (
Houston Chronicle
)

Slightest Provocation
Irish authorities charged Sandra Talbot, 32, with assaulting her ex-girlfriend during a costume party at a Dublin pub after bumping into her while wearing an inflatable sumo wrestler suit. Victim Adrienne Martin objected and said Talbot hit her with a bottle she had hidden under her costume after Martin tried to wave at a man dressed as a Snickers bar. (
Dublin’s Evening Herald
)

Police in Largo, Fla., arrested brothers Kevin L. Lambert, 24, and Dustin J. Lambert, 19, after they used two guitars to beat their roommate because, according to arrest reports, Dustin Lambert thought the victim was “cooking his food.” One of the guitars was electric, the other acoustic. (St. Petersburg Times)

A 21-year-old man called police in East Wenatchee, Wash., to say his 17-year-old sister attacked him with a serrated spatula. Officer Carrie Knouf said the incident occurred while the two argued whether to use butter or margarine while making macaroni and cheese. (The Wenatchee World)

Police charged Russell Willis Shepherd Jr., 40, with stabbing his 58-year-old roommate in the hand after the men argued at their apartment in Myrtle Beach, S.C., because the suspect was being loud while having sex with a 39-year-old homeless woman. (The Sun News)

Compiled from the nation’s press by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

 
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