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Home / Articles / News / Cover Story /  Gay Students vs. BYU Honor Code Page 1
Cover Story

Gay Students vs. BYU Honor Code Page 1

Dishonor Code: Despite a 2007 gay-friendly update to BYU’s honor code, some students claim the discipline goes too far.

By Eric S. Peterson
Photo by Chad Kirkland 
Posted // July 7,2010 - Like many faithful members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, John Kovalenko felt a strong desire to attend Brigham Young University. The move to BYU seemed an important step in his spiritual evolution, one that he took with the zeal of a missionary. Unlike many of the church faithful, however, Kovalenko entered BYU as a gay student. He didn’t attend BYU with an expectation that he would change his sexual orientation, but simply with the goal of serving as an emissary to other gay members of the faith, to let them and the world know that his religion and his school would never turn away from gay members who were faithful.

“I was fallaciously trying to live in two worlds at once. Especially after Proposition 8, I wanted to prove everyone wrong,” Kovalenko says of the tensions between the gay community and the LDS Church caused by the church’s lobbying efforts to repeal gay marriage in California in 2008. In his precarious position of being gay and Mormon, Kovalenko intended to change the attitude of his fellow members by staying the same person he always was: committed churchgoer, exemplary student and ambassador for BYU’s music program. As a violinist, Kovalenko helped set up institutional relationships with the prestigious Chautauqua Institution in New York state. He also taught violin to undergrads in the school.

He also fell in love with another man at BYU. That’s how Kovalenko changed—even if BYU didn’t.

“I felt like I was allowed to honor myself and allow myself to experience love when it came into my life,” he says. “I listened to my heart and that’s something I learned, in part, from my religion.”

In 2007, BYU changed its honor code, the policy that regulates student conduct, so that simply being gay would not be prohibited. Acting on those impulses with inappropriate sexual contact, however, would still be prohibited, as would advocating “homosexual behavior.” Kovalenko knew by the time he was called into the Honor Code Office in the summer of 2009 that his commitment to another man would be discussed.

Presented with allegations—but no evidence—of living an unchaste life, Kovalenko, only one credit away from graduation, was offered the opportunity to complete his degree after a year of suspension, which would include frequent visits with an Honor Code Office counselor, essay assignments based on church talks, and agreeing not to associate with any gay individual.

It wasn’t the terms of this honor code arrangement that caused him to walk away from the university, but the rationale they used to find him guilty.

“I decided not to lie in the interview,” Kovalenko says. “But I didn’t verify whether or not my relationship was sexual—I refused to give that information because I didn’t feel that was any of [their] business and I [had] talked to my bishop about it.”

That’s what finally pushed him from BYU. Since he had admitted to being in love with his boyfriend, Kovalenko was told that any contact with him—even a handshake or a hug—would be inappropriate. Any sign of affection would be just as inappropriate as sexual relations and be seen by the honor code as “advocating” for “homosexual behavior.” (Representatives of BYU who handle honor code discipline deny they would make such claims but also refused to comment on Kovalenko’s case, citing the Family Educational Rights & Privacy Act.)

For an institution that purports to encourage “honor,” some students worry that the bureaucracy tasked with enforcing an honor code seems inconsistent and unfair in its approach. They also see an office that is not seeking to foster honor among college students but rather to mass-produce the next generation of conservative, young Mormon professionals.

FreckleGirl.jpg“It’s so nebulous,” says Ashley Sanders (pictured at left), a former BYU student, about the honor code. “They can use it to enforce whatever they want and to control any behavior.” As a student activist, Sanders and some fellow students were once denied permits to protest the invasion of Iraq in 2003 because “it was against the honor code for us to question our country.”

People can change, but can institutions change without the persistence of the people in them? For a church-owned institution dedicated to preserving family values while struggling to define the role for the members who don’t fit in—especially gay members—BYU seems to have changed little in the way it uses the honor code. Since the turbulent ’60s, when school President Ernest Wilkinson used the honor code to squash rabble-rousers, long hairs and beatniks, BYU has budged little on its policies regarding students who just don’t fit the mold.

The Honor Court
BYU is perhaps Utah’s most well known university. Nestled against the Wasatch Mountains in Provo, the college, named after the Mormon faith’s second prophet, is home to more than 33,000 students. Most students are LDS and flock to the institution known for its prestigious programs, such as its business and law schools. It’s also a school that attracts students seeking to uphold a standard of clean and righteous living, to stand in sober contrast to the typical American college student. According to Steve Baker, director of the Honor Code Office, the code creates a unique culture of academic and spiritual flourishing.

“We also believe students, who honor their commitment to live by the standards they agreed to, do in fact create a very unique environment where service and learning flourish,” Baker writes via e-mail.

The campus is still a typical college setting, with students playing Frisbee on the open grounds or cramming for finals in the library. Except that, inside the library, simple placards next to each check-out booth and info desk read: “Please respect the Honor Code so that we may serve you better.”

But the code is not just a recommendation. While commonly meant for upholding dress and grooming standards, it’s also a way to regulate behavior. Baker says the office interacts with written warnings, meetings and discipline hearings with about 1 to 3 percent of the student body annually. Prior to 2007, those interactions included punishment for gay students who simply admitted to being gay, a policy revisited only after student protests.

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REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // July 7,2010 at 09:05

Would these people like cheese with their whine? Sheesh, every BYU student knows about the strict honor code before they attend the university. It's notorious, but it's a choice you make. You break the rules, you can get kicked out. A private university has that right. Get over it. I love how this story tries to make these former students look like victims---after they broke a signed contract and had to pay the consequences. If you hate BYU's honor code, congratulations. No biggie. Simply refrain from attending the university. Problem solved. Move on with your life...and stop crying about it.

 

Q
Posted // July 7,2010 at 10:05 - Agreed, also the guy talks out of both sides of his mouth. "“I decided not to lie in the interview,”....“But I didn’t verify whether or not my relationship was sexual... didn’t feel that was any of [their] business" (sounds like lawyer speak there is also no need to talk to a bishop about nonsexual contact) Like it or not his sexual conduct is their business since it is part of the Honor Code he signed. Heterosexual kids are kicked out for sexual contact as well they.

 

Art
Posted // July 7,2010 at 13:12 - Oh I'd really rather be a Homo than am Momo.. that is what i'd really rather be ee eeeeee. I'd really rather be a Homo than a Momo, cause Satan would, yes Satan would Oh Satan would be taking a bite outta MEEEEEEE!!! (You see, Homo's can repent and go to heaven, Momo's don't have a CLUE about Jesus and HIS saving grace. So they don't repent and go to HELL.) (to the Oscam Weiner song)

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 08:12 - I'd say you served up the cheese

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 15:36 - I would agree that BYU, as a private institution, has every right to discriminate. But, I also have some sympathy for these students. People change a lot in the 4 or 5 years it can take to complete an undergraduate degree, particularly if they're moving out of their parents' home, getting jobs, studying, and meeting people from around the world in a university setting. Nobody is the same person at 22 that they were at 18. If the course of a person's life takes him or her to a point where they can no longer conform to the BYU mentality, then yes, they should leave that institution. But to say "Move on with your life" is a bit too simplistic. If these students completed the coursework for an academic degree, and are not allowed to graduate because of "honor code" violations, I think they have a legitimate grievance. Either way, BYU and the Mormon Church only have as much power over an individual as that person allows them to have. If you're not happy with your relationship to either of those institutions, do yourself the favor and get out.

 

SMC
Posted // July 8,2010 at 16:04 - Ya its the colleges right to discriminate, which is shameful since these are the same people (mormons) who are tired of being discriminated themselves by other backward christian denominations. This "honor code" is only a way to keep the mormon students ignorant by keeping them from being truly and unbiasly exposed to other ways of thinking.

 

Posted // July 12,2010 at 14:53 - You keep using this word "discriminate." BYU also "discriminates" against heterosexual couples that have sexual relations outside of marriage. And I'd be willing to bet they take action against far more heterosexual students than homosexual ones. Does this article address this at all? The insert in a not so subtle way mentions the possibility of going after the non-profit tax status of BYU because of the way it views all sexual behavior outside of marriage. So you hold it as a threat that in the future BYU is going to be forced to accept gay students have sex outside marriage or lose the tax status it currently enjoys, then have the balls to tell us that Gay Marriage has nothing to do with us and you just want to live your lives? If you do believe in live and let live, then you should be standing up for BYU to have rules against ALL sexual behavior outside of marriage and let us know that hey, once you get government recognition of gay marriage you are going to go after BYU because it kicks out students who are gay married. If you don't agree with that, then you need to stand up for the right of BYU to use its own discretion over who goes to the private religious institution. If you want us to stay out of your bedroom, I'm not sure why you are insisting on invading our campus.

 

Posted // July 13,2010 at 10:42 - It's church owned. It's not publicly funded. It can set any policy it wants according to its faith views. Live with it.

 

B
Posted // July 23,2010 at 19:54 - This honor code is creating the next generation of sheep.

 

Posted // September 2,2010 at 12:36 - I didn't see anywhere in this article that suggests the reasons these students wanted to attend BYU, knowing they would have to agree to the honor code.

 

Posted // December 19,2010 at 23:48 - So many ignorant comments. Open up your minds and get your head out of the sand realize that people have issues and they need to work through them They should not be kicked out of school after four years of hard work because they are trying to figure themselves out. THe church speaks so much about LOVE but then all of you close your minds and hearts and sit on your judgement chairs and throw rocks. Thank the Lord i am not at that school anymore. Idiots.

 

Posted // March 9,2011 at 14:05 - I agree that a private institution has the right to do what it wishes here, but having the right and it being right are two different things. "Getting over it" is just not going to happen for people who see it as wrong.

 

Posted // April 1,2011 at 10:28 - BYU seeks to uphold the standards of righteousness set by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Central to LDS doctrine is that we have a modern prophet and apostles who receive revelation from God. The First Presidency stated in a November 1991 letter: “Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.” While many good members of the church may struggle with overcoming homosexual urges, Kovalenko’s attempt to justify his behavior and to "change the attitude of his fellow members" suggests that he does not fully understand his own faith.

 

j
Posted // May 3,2011 at 16:29 - Show some sensitivity people. Maybe your lives are simpler than theirs. Be grateful for that and give lb/gay/bi people a break.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // July 7,2010 at 09:57

Do they still teach that the sun revolves around the earth and that dinosaurs lived with biblical man?

 

cdt
Posted // July 7,2010 at 15:08 - that's not a teaching of the church, nor has it ever been. You're ridiculous though.

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 15:38 - cdt is correct. Mormon's are taught that dinosaur bones were collected by God from other defunct planets floating around the universe and used, along with many other mysterious items, to construct this planet, thereby supporting the 6,000 year old "living" Earth theory. Other Mormons are taught that, while this world has been in existence for millions of years, there was no human life on it until God imbued Adam and Eve's human shells with a soul, 6,000 years ago. I guess what you are taught depends upon how old you are (Mormon theories change often to suit the times) and what stake you belong to. And that's definitely not ridiculous, right cdt?

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 16:08 - Heyduke, no wonder Scientologists thank god for Mormons. What is it with this fascination with "other worlds" and beings and artifacts from other worlds creating the Earth, yadda-yadda. Why can't these organizations just accept the fact that this is planet Earth. Period. We didn't come from anywhere but stardust and meteors. Get over it. Evolve, damn you!

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 16:30 - It's all about the fantasy, Mamba, all about the fantasy. Humans need them like water. Fantasies like the one in which I'm wearing this pink, ass-less bunny costume and I've got a ball gag and hot candle wax and there's this...

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 12:43 - Wowie, wowie...TMI, dude ;)

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 12:46 - There are "theories" and there are "doctrines". I have heard of the theory, not taught at church, that dinosaur bones possibly could have come from other matter floating in the universe that the Earth was "formed" from. I think the churces official position is that is only a person's "theory" and that the church would accept that there were once dinosaurs walking the Earth. Hayduke writes "(Mormon theories change often to suit the times)". Uh... so does science and everyone else for that matter. New evidences and theories are coming at us all the time. We (man) simply explain it the best we can with the knowledge we have now. So why is it evil when the "church" does it and Okay when the rest of the "world" does it?

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 12:53 - Might have been a bit much, Mamba, but you know you like the thought of it! Oh yeah!

 

JD
Posted // July 8,2010 at 13:03 - Lordpilsbury: Nice try, but that explanation is not valid. The whole basis of scientific community is to prove, disprove and learn based on new and discovered information. The basis of religion is to adhere to a doctrine that is touted as "eternal" . You cannot in one breath claim that gays cannot marry because god made one man and one woman and in the other breath say that you can change your doctrine because you didn't understand the doctrine back then like you do now. Being inflexible only when it suits one doctrine but allowing for change when it benefits another doctrine is the height of hypocrisy.

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 13:09 - Lord Pillsbury, science is an on-going process utilizing measurable proof to bolster theory. Mormon theology and doctrine, on the other hand, is said by Mormons to be delivered to Mormons by God through a Mormon prophet, one that is in direct contact with God. So when science changes, disproving an old or outdated theory, it is acceptable as it is understood to be an evolving process. When the LDS church changes or reverses their stance on something that was said to have come directly from God, which serves to, A) undermine your God's universal and eternal wisdom, and B) undermine and weaken LDS religious tenets by proving that they can change at any time for any reason.

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 13:15 - Oh, Pillsbury, regarding that dinosaur bones thing. Before pesky science came along and ruined the theory, Mormons taught that the Earth was only 6,000 years old. I'm assuming that this info came from God, too. As far as I know, The Church will not take an official stance on this subject (though it is most certainly taught in church). I'll wager that to do so, to take an official, put-it-in-writing position, would be a mistake on many levels.

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 16:38 - To LordPillsbury: I agree with the several comments pointing out how hypocritical it is for the Church to claim ongoing revelation and then change doctrine. The Church purposely makes very little doctrine official--for that very reason. All the changes, each taught extensively in church (forget the official "manuals." Only the most vapid and shallow members limit their study and beliefs to those children's books).

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 17:03 - JD, Lord Pillsbury was talking about church theories, not doctrine. Doctrine doesn't change.

 

JD
Posted // July 8,2010 at 17:26 - John- So if we are speaking only of theories then all those books and talks written and given by past leaders and some present leaders are considered theory? Because the congregations seem to like to use them for teaching purposes with many listed in student manuals and other priesthood manuals. Yet when the teachings (think comments by Brigham Young, Wilford Woodruff and McConkie) no longer fits with current science or current political climate then they are tossed aside as just the man's opinion. Up until then they were basically doctrine. Again, how do you justify teaching a "theory" by many leaders as if doctrine including those same leaders interpretation of scripture only to toss it aside when it is no longer politically, socially or scientifically prudent? Does that not contradict the very concept of "inspired by the spirit" leadership?

 

Posted // July 9,2010 at 10:39 - Two things: Theory I've experienced is,"Yes, only 6,000 years to do it all, but who knows how long one of "God's years" are? Could be a million human years to each of "God's years." Utterly childish and simplistic. The other thing is that people like Paul Dunn have/had no problem embellishing and, yes, lying, to the faithful for purposes of inspiration and demonstration. I believe that was his defense when caught falsifying stories making him out to be a professional baseball player and combat veteran, neither of which held up under noraml, human scrutiny. Spence Kennard, KSL's defrocked and morally-challenged ex-News Director, used to host "Music and The Spoken Word" every Sunday morning on tv. I would tune in for his monologue some mornings just to laugh my ass off when he would almost always say,"A wise man once said ________." He would never identify the "wise man" or source of his comments. I always figured he was making it up as he went along.

 

HB
Posted // July 9,2010 at 20:20 - So if doctrine never changes, John, why isn't the Book of Mormon now the same as it was when JS first published it. Heck, why isn't it the same now as it was when I received my first copy in 1985?

 

mac
Posted // July 10,2010 at 11:56 - The problem is, every student DOESN'T know how the honor code office works when they come to BYU. They know there's an honor code, and most of them fully expect to follow it. But they don't realize that if they make a mistake (heaven forbid!) a KGB-style investigation without consistency, rules, checks or balances can ruin their lives. I agree that BYU has every right to do what they did, but it seems like they should be a little more fair.

 

RNC
Posted // July 10,2010 at 22:47 - It is not a question as to whether a private religious institution has the right to enact such codes as the aforementioned 'Honor Code'. The real question is if such a code is correct, beneficial, or worthy of merit. I myself briefly attended BYU and found the culture to not only be disingenuous, but was the antithesis of promoting a free marketplace of ideas. I would argue that THE purpose of an institution of high education is the promotion of freedom, inquiry, and various points of view. In this, BYU and the 'honor code' fails. I personally left BYU and moved overseas to be educated in an International University in Switzerland and the University of Cambridge in England. I empathize with all of these students that for one reason or another had to endure BYU and did not have the means to attain their education elsewhere.

 

Posted // August 8,2010 at 15:06 - The LDS funding of anti-gay amendments should lead to their loss of tax-exempt status. The separation of church and state works both ways.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // July 7,2010 at 10:07

BYU is the face of the LDS church. One of its goals is to be "a light to the World". In my limited understanding I figure they don't want people protesting or advocating anything that is against church policy.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // July 7,2010 at 10:25

The BYU Honor Code Office is Satan's plan at its best. Forcing people to live the way that you feel they should is exactly contrary to their Gods plan. "Send me father, and the Glory shall be BYU's."

Whether you feel that the Honor Code is right or not, based off the agreement that the university has people sign to attend, The Accreditation board strictly enforces that no university decisions may be made by any donors or sponsors of any universities. The fact that church court decisions become the final say at the university should cause the university to lose its accreditation.

And further, it's encouraged for non-members to join the church while at the university. However, for a member of the church to convert to another religion while attending, they will be disciplined through the Honor Code and lose their ecclesiastical standing. No matter how you feel about the university, that's religious discrimination- and no contract that anyone can enter into will ever trump the constitution.

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 13:28 - Hmmm...your logic doesn't add up. BYU doesn't "force" anybody to do anything. Getting into BYU is highly competitive, and attending is a choice. Being Mormon is a choice too. Before they attend the university, students are well aware of BYU's ecclesiastical expectations, and they sign a contract promising to abide by those rules. Also, this article maintains exactly the opposite of what you posted---that Church court decisions DON'T have an effect on BYU disciplinary protocol. Nobody decides a BYU student's fate other than BYU, not a student's religious leader. And your claim that BYU, a private institution, is somehow violating the U.S. Constitution by enforcing its own ecclesiastic policies is laughable. Again, attending BYU is a choice, and students there want the honor code enforced. That's why so many kids want to go there. No discrimination is evident. Only private citizens in a private religious school that want to enforce a private moral code to students that voluntarily attend. No federal funding is involved, and no federal, state or local laws are being broken. It’s silly to assert otherwise.

 

HB
Posted // July 7,2010 at 15:53 - Actually, nycdude, if you are disciplined through the church, you will in almost every case lose your ecclesiastical endorsement, a requirement for attending school. So church discipline definitely affects honor code discipline. Also one can make the argument that BYU and other church institutions receive federal funding because they accept government grants and loans from students to pay for their schooling. They money behind the GOVERNMENT grants and loans comes from the federal government and the school is funded by this money--so the school is, in a way, at least in part federally funded. And students don't always know exactly what the Honor Code implies. The honor code always has a "disruptive behavior" clause that covers anything they deem unacceptable. I was put on probation at BYU-Idaho under the disruptive behavior clause because I had an eating disorder. Punishing a student for having been abused and having PTSD isn't exactly loving and healing--not what you'd expect and God's University.

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 16:05 - So, does BYU receive Federal or State funds for the school or its programs? That's the key question. If not, they can whatever they want, being a private school. But if they receive Federal or State money, that's a horse of a different color as far as creating a rulebook authored by religion.

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 19:09 - The students are federally funded. That doesn't make the University federally funded. That is like saying that a grocery store is federally funded because they accept food stamps.

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 12:48 - No, it's like saying that if the store accepts Food Stamps and it goes to their bottom line, the store better meet the following Federal criteria: 1- They regularly sell at least three varieties of foods in each of four categories — breads/cereals; dairy products; fruits and vegetables; and meat, fish or poultry — and at least two of the categories must include perishable foods. ( A nice, well-rounded "curriculum" of food basics) 2-Or more than half of total gross sales must be in "staple foods," which means no candy, soft drinks or prepared foods. See, there are rules to accepting taxpayer's money. Your point that some of BYU's students are accepting Federal money, but the school does not, doesn't add up. The school is taking the money from the students, right?

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 12:55 - Eric writes- "However, for a member of the church to convert to another religion while attending, they will be disciplined through the Honor Code and lose their ecclesiastical standing. Put it simply, if you join another religion, you are excommunicated? Not necessarily true. I know of many "Mormons" who have joined other faiths, who are not excommunicated. Now, if by that choice you fight against the church by promoting and accusing that it is not true, you could be excommunicated for that. Of course, logically speaking, a person who has left the church should care less if they are excommunicated, since they deny the faith anyways. So why make it sound so "discriminatory", when actually, it is logical.

 

Posted // July 9,2010 at 00:38 - Illogical, unwarranted, and ridiculous post. No one has to go to BYU. But anyone who wants to attend BYU must live the Honor Code. It's a simple as that. If you don't want to live the honor code, go to any of the hundreds of secular institutions that have no Honor Code-like standards.

 

HB
Posted // July 9,2010 at 20:27 - Yes, no one has to go to BYU, but a lot of young Mormons are put under enormous pressure by their families to attend. My cousin's parents won't pay for their schooling unless they attend a church school, and with the cost of schooling, that is a huge incentive. Also, one may really, truly want to attend when s/he first starts, but college is a time of great change. A student is living away from her/his parents for the first time and getting to know her/himself. S/he might not be the same person in year three that s/he was in year one. It's not fair to say, "18-year-old you agreed to these rule, now 21-year-old you must live them" with the threat that years of hard work and academic achievement will be flushed down the toilet.

 

Posted // September 26,2010 at 20:06 - I agree with you completey Eric. It reminds me of the Air Force Academy, which has a very similar Honor Code to which cadets must adhere lest they receive demerits or be kicked out entirely and dishonorably discharged from their service. Of course, by forcing cadets to follow the honor code, the Academy is depriving them of their freedom which, ironically, they have sworn to protect against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Okay, that sounded completely ridiculous, right? Because if people want to attend the Air Force Academy, they do so knowing that there is an Honor Code which they must obey in order to become the type of person who will have the level of self-discipline required of a United States Air Force officer. Similarly, a member of the Mormon church who attends BYU in order to grow educationally and religiously will realize that, in order to do so, he or she must follow the Honor Code as it not only creates an atmosphere conducive to effective learning, but also upholds all of the standards and values of the church which they have chosen to belong to. According to the social contract theory proposed separately by both Thomas Hobbes and John Locke, government only has power when the people agree to be governed. BYU students agree to follow the Honor Code and as such, give a measure of their capacity to be governed to the institution. The following link is to the BYU Honor Code. You will notice that nowhere is there any mention of disciplinary action to be taken in the case of a Mormon student choosing to leave the church. He or she must simply continue to abide by the standard of living expected of all students, regardless of religious preference. Thank you for your time, and for allowing me the opportunity to research this topic.

 

REPLY TO THIS COMMENT
Posted // July 7,2010 at 10:51

What's sad is that BYU is not the worst. Has anyone ever looked at how they handle these type of things at BYU-Idaho? They're even worse....

 

HB
Posted // July 7,2010 at 15:59 - BYUI was hell. My years there were the worst years of my life. reported them, and nothing was done. I'm surprised I made it out alive.

 

Posted // July 7,2010 at 19:11 - HB, it sounds like you should have found a different school to go to and made room for those that are dying to go to BYU-Idaho.

 

HB
Posted // July 7,2010 at 20:45 - Yes, John. A Mormon girl has no business trying to feel accepted, feel the spirit, and do the right thing by going to a Mormon university. She should leave it to the TRULY worthy people. But I did get free tuition for two years since my dad worked there, and then several academic scholarships. Once I realized once a horror show BYUI was, though, and after they'd convinced me that the church was really not out for my best interests, I left it it to the TRULY righteous.

 

Posted // July 8,2010 at 17:10 - HB, I apologize if I sounded unsympathetic. I don't know the situation, so I am not saying that things were dealt with in the way they should have been. However, every institution has people that misrepresent them. Even if someone dealt wrongly with you at BYU-I, the institution as a whole is trying to lead people to Christ and to be like him. That can't happen as effectively when the honor code isn't followed. So, only those who want to follow the honor code and live in an atmosphere where it is followed should be going there. If your issue didn't relate to that, then the statement I made earlier also doesn't apply to you.

 

HB
Posted // July 9,2010 at 20:32 - John, thank you for apologizing, but you realize that you didn't just sound unsympathetic, you were being unsympathetic by implying that I had no business going to BYUI and should have just left so more worthy people could go. You seem to have the idea that my complaints, and the complaints of others who have attended these schools and have not had a positive experience are not valid, and that we only want to portray the church in a bad light. I only want to give voice to my experiences and not be silenced. I do not understand the need for the undermining of my experience or my worthiness. I am human. My worth is as great as any other human. My story is as valid.

 

 
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