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Home / Articles / · Archive / News & Columns /  Staffbox | Any advice for Barack Obama?
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Staffbox | Any advice for Barack Obama?

Posted // January 14,2009 - Barack Obama's presidential term begins Jan. 20. Do you have any advice for him?n

Holly Mullen: Be big, be brave, be radical. And count the silverware before the Bushes leave!

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Jeremiah Smith: Yeah—seriously, don't fuck up. Everyone is watching.

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Larry Carter: Yeah. Run, Barack, run.

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Matt Engle: He should start using smokeless tobacco instead of smoking. Then he could get his nicotine fix inside the oval office.

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Tracey Stout: Don’t screw anyone.

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Jennifer Nixon: Duck and cover, and stay away from the windows.

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James Burnitt: Listen to the people, not the turds in the House and the Senate.

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Julie Erickson: Keep working hard for the people. Most importantly, never lose that go-get-’em attitude that you've always had.

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Scott Renshaw: You know that one bathroom in the West Wing where the toilet just seems to keep running? Jiggle the handle up, then down, then up again. That should take care of it.

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Derek Jones: I think all Obama needs to do is follow this rule of thumb: Ask himself what Bush and Cheney would do—and then do the opposite.

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Brandon Burt: Remember: If the neocons and the nutwing Evangelicals had anything to offer, the economy would be doing just fine and it would be Mike Huckabee getting inaugurated Tuesday.

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Jayne Pedersen: Stay true to yourself. Keep buying your own groceries and playing basketball. Thanks for restoring my faith in our government! Don't let me down.

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Nick Clark: Remove all the skeletons from the closets before moving your stuff in.

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Bill Frost: That flaming bag of dog poop you’ll find on the White House doorstep Jan. 21? Probably from Dubya.

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Paula Saltas: My shoe closet could use a federal bailout. Look into that, OK?

 
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